College Rambling

A boat

2010-01-24T02:16:00.003-06:00

I got this boat the other day.

It's a very, very special boat to me. It sits on my bookcase in my room. As I wake up in the morning, this is usually one of the first things I see.

I got this boat while crossing over Salisbury Road close to the harbor. It's super busy right around that area, and there's lots of foot traffic crossing over the footbridge. Every time I pass by there is an old Chinese woman begging for money.

She never makes eye contact. She's very dirty, and her back is hunched over. Her fingernails and toenails are long and her hair is unkempt.

Each time I pass by I always try to put a few coins in her little box. It's not much--maybe a dollar or two if my money was American.

Last time I walked by her, all I had on me was a twenty (3 American bucks). I reached down and put it in her little box. She grabbed my leg as I walked by and yelled something I couldn't understand.

I looked down and saw a huge, beautiful smile (albeit somewhat toothless), and she was holding up this boat for me to take. You can't see it in the picture, but there is a smiley face drawn on the underside of the boat. I took the boat as she said, "M'goy!" ("Thank you!") I walked away, choked up, amazed at how a woman with arguably so little to offer still had the capacity to bless my heart so much.

The boat is a treasure to me. I try to pray for that woman whenever I look at my boat.

Jesus chose fishermen to be the founders of his church. They were dirty, probably a little bit toothless, and largely overlooked.

But Jesus came to bind up the brokenhearted. He came for the poor and the oppressed. For the dirty, the smelly, the homeless.

I hope someone who knows Cantonese has told (or will tell) that woman about Jesus. That's my prayer each time I look at that boat.

I'm not sure where my friend has gone. She hasn't been on the bridge the last few times I've walked across. All I know is that God knows her, and he notices her. And I know that I wish I could have done more. I wish that I knew her language. I wish I could have bought her a meal and some water and told her how much God loves her and that he sees her and that she matters.

All I can do now is pray for her. I'm so glad I have the boat to remind me to do that.

Try to notice.

Ken

2010-01-19T09:10:00.002-06:00

Tonight I met one of the most interesting men I have ever talked to.

I was eating at Tommy's (not it's real name, but you have to call it something), our local hole-in-the-wall, leave-your-sanitation-standards-at-the-door restaurant down the street. I normally eat alone there in the evenings with a book. Just a really good time to read and reflect.

Not tonight. As I walked up to the restaurant, a white face (you don't see those in our neck of Hong Kong) motioned me over to his table. He said, "Care to join me?"

Why the heck not? Not every night can I mix and mingle with a random Westerner.

His name is Ken. He's about 60, and he teaches English two hours a day at a few of the local high schools around the city.

Ken told me that he grew up in Surrey, England (the same place where Kate Winslet lives in the movie The Holiday, I think) and studied to be an ornithologist (a glorified bird watcher).

He lived in the English countryside for the first 15 years of his adult life. He wrote articles about birds for various magazines. Then National Geographic called.

"Ken, we've got a deal for you. How about you sell all your belongings, buy a backpack and a pup tent, and spend about five years traveling the world and taking pictures of birds?"

So he did.

Ken said he spent five years all over the world. He never shaved. He never cut his hair. He said he looked like Moses, except for his safari hat. He lived out of his backpack and under a tent.

Five years later, Ken was in Hong Kong taking pictures of Hong Kong birds. He was in a random restaurant and saw a white guy. The white guy randomly started talking to him and realized he was English.

He told Ken that he was a principal of a private Christian school and needed a substitute English teacher for his sixth graders because the current teacher had a family emergency and had to quit unexpectedly the day before.

Ken said, "I don't have any clothes, a razor, or a decent haircut. Or a place to live." The guy gave Ken some clothes, a razor, and brought him to a barber. After a night in a hotel, Ken showed up and taught sixth-grade English grammar to a group of Cantonese students.

At the end of the day the principal said, "Good job. Want this job permanently?"

Ken took the job on the spot. Said he was tired of birds and wanted people for friends. He has lived in Hong Kong for 19 years now. And he's the coolest neighbor I've ever met.

I'm excited that I know Ken. Hong Kong gets more and more interesting each day.

My Family.

2010-01-11T08:10:00.002-06:00

I was home in Montgomery for about two weeks over Christmas. I'm so thankful for my mom, my dad, Dan, and Gabe. I love you guys so much.

Peak shots-- Why we're here

2009-11-09T20:29:00.003-06:00

Last Tuesday night, our group took a group of Mainland students from Poly U up to The Peak.

The Peak is a super high mountain on Hong Kong Island (the lower part of Hong Kong) that has a great lookout point from which you can see most of the city and beautiful Victoria Harbor (or, I guess it would be Harbour, since this was a British colony). We had a blast! You can kinda tell from the pictures how breathtaking the view is. When you see it in person, though, it really does something inside of you, deep in your spirit. It reminds me of how small I am, how creative and huge God is, how vast this city is. I'm so glad I got to share this experience with our new friends.

Polo, Chris, Justin, Joe, Alex--I'm so thankful for each of you and for our new friendship! You guys make life here so sweet and rich. I'm so glad I know you. I look forward to all the memories like this that we'll make over the next year or two. You guys are the best!

Here are the pictures:

1) Arguably the best group shot since we've been in Hong Kong

2) Me, and (from left) Justin, Joe (can't see him that well), Polo, and Chris

3) I like this one. Someone yelled, "Crazy pose!" and I think that only about 5 of us actually did a crazy pose. Me, Zach Benson, Mary, Katie, Jason. The rest of you just smiled normally. Thanks. Now we just look silly. :)

Take note--->

2009-11-04T09:00:00.002-06:00

I've installed my twitter account to feed directly into my blog.

Because I'm busy working through some ESL curriculum development, I haven't blogged in a while. But you can check my twitter feed either here or on facebook (or through twitter if you've crossed over and have a twitterID).

I update twitter much more regularly than I do my blog.

Just wanted to make you guys aware.

Dinner

2009-10-18T09:51:00.005-05:00

Last night I was invited to eat at the apartment of my good friend Polo. My friends Chris and Joe were there with me. They are all mainland students who are studying at Polytechnic University here in Hong Kong. The three of them hosted me for a "traditional Chinese dinner." I met Joe at Hung Hom MTR (subway) station and we walked to Polo's apartment about a half-mile away. I was met at the door by Chris and Polo with hugs and a tall glass of water.

I asked if I could do anything to help.

No. Of course not. You're our guest.

Polo and Chris and Joe took turns in the kitchen, each cooking a different dish. I sat on the couch and enjoyed great conversation (with Discovery Channel's "Shark Week" on in the background, I should add) as these three culinary studs took turns cooking a feast.

And it was definitely a feast.

Joe's contribution: Fried eggplant (delicious).

Chris's contribution: A dish that had eggs and shrimp (delicious).

Polo's contribution: A dish that had potatoes and carrots in a delicious sauce (delicious).

Did I mention it was delicious?

Additionally, they made rice and had some duck (yes, duck!) and fish from the store.

I liked the three homemade dishes best, even though the fish and duck were good. But man, those guys can cook!

We laughed for several hours and talked about school and girls and video games and Christianity and future jobs and languages and traveling and all sorts of things.

I am so grateful for these guys. Wow.

Thanks, Polo, Chris, and Joe for a wonderful night. You guys are the best. I feel very at home when we are together. Thank you for making me feel welcomed and for being my friends.

(Oh, and if you guys don't know what it meant when I said you are "culinary studs," it just means you are really awesome guys and you can cook super well!)

Catching up

2009-10-16T23:13:00.011-05:00

It's saturday morning and i'm lazy. Nothing on the plate for today (a great thing!), and it's as good a time as ever to try to write (and finish) a blog.

Sorry I haven't written much lately. You know how sometimes you go through a time where you're working through some issues and it kinda consumes most of your emotional/spiritual energy? Yeah. That's been here recently for me.

But, I don't want to neglect writing on the blog. And even though I haven't been writing, that's not to say I haven't been looking around for things to blog about. I have.

Here's another top ten:

1. Dinner with some friends. Polo, Vincent, Claudia, Joe, and Justin, our new mainland friends from Polytechnic University in Hung Hom, came out with five members of our team to try their first ever "breakfast for dinner" meal the other night. We took them to the Flying Pan restaurant (more on the name in a little bit), a place that specializes in omelettes. We've been hanging out with these guys (and their friend Chris!) a lot these past few weeks. It's been such a joy getting to know them and hear their stories. You guys are awesome!

2. The Flying Pan. Obviously, this is a play on "frying pan" and the Chinese inability to distinguish correctly between the letters L and R. That's why you have "flied lice" and why Malorie is constantly called "Marorie" here. And why words like syllable and possible are sometimes pronounced syllabrr and possibrr. Which provides a nice transition into point 3...

3. English as a second language. i'm working right now (and have been for the past month) on developing an English as a Second Language course for Mandarin students. It's been super interesting to study the differences between Mandarin and English morphology (how words acquire meaning) and phonology (how the sounds of a language are formed). Like, for instance, did you know that the X sound in chinese is formed by curling your tongue backwards towards the back of your throat and blowing air forwards like you would for an S? We never curl our tongues backwards in English. And they never put their tongues between their teeth (like we would for th sounds). And they would never comment on men and "their cologne." They would say "the cologne of the pronoun masculine plural." They have a word to denote tense, gender, number, and the like. So these are just a FEW of the many differences I'm trying to address. I'll blog more in detail about English program stuff in the future. But it's exciting!

4. Some pictures.

For all the UGA fans back home, I came across this rugby bulldog.

A cool opportunity you don't see in America. Coming to a mall near us.

A Chinese advertisement in the middle of a mall. Way cooler than American signs.

Zach Furr at the lookout point on top of Chinese University.

Public transportation. Always crowded.

5. Food. It's getting better as I know what to get/ not to get. One of our favorite restaurants is a place called Tommy's. Not because it's called tommy's. But because it's completely chinese and the only guy who speaks english is a guy named tommy. So he helps us order and in thanks, we named the restaurant after him. not sure what it is in cantonese.

Anyway, sometimes Tommy isn't there. And that's where our handy dandy iphones come in. I sometimes have to google green beans and pork or fried/steamed rice and show them the pictures. This one, though, is a pork and peppers dish. And because they have several dishes that have pork and peppers, we had the waiter write down the dish in Chinese characters. I took a picture, and whenever we go I just pull up my photo library and show them this:

In addition to Tommy's, we are trying other things. Me and Furr and Benson and our friends Chris and Polo went out to a restaurant the other day. Benson's was served in a piece of bamboo:
6. Team dinners. I love Thursday nights. Matt and April prepare a feast for us and we spend the evening eating/laughing/playing games and wrestling with Josh and Caleb/and watching the Office. Matt downloads the episodes off iTunes and we set up a projector and speakers and gather around and watch the previous week's episodes together. I think Jason's laugh is one of my favorite things in life. He laughs harder than anyone I know. I think if I ever get depressed again, I'll tell jokes to Jason or just watch some funny movies with him and it'll likely make me feel better.

7. "A community of gratitude". April and Josh and Caleb prepared notebooks for each of the team members the other day. (I say "prepared"--April bought little 4x6 notebooks and Josh and Caleb stuck superman/power rangers stickers on the guys' books and princess pictures on the girls'. They are adorable.)

April challenged us to journal reasons we are thankful over the next month and a half until thanksgiving, just as a simple way to be meditating on the things God has done/is doing for us. The assignment? 1000 reasons we are thankful. (That's about 30 a day, give or take). I am excited! I have started carrying it around with me and so far my entries range from stuff like "I'm thankful that God spoke to me this morning through Psalm 16" to "I'm thankful for iTunes movie rentals on a Friday night when I'm kinda bored."

8. Growing ministry. We are entering relationships with people in our neighborhood. With people from Polytechnic U and City U and Hong Kong U. With people on basketball courts and soccer pitches and behind counters at starbucks. With people at our church (Island Evangelical Christian Church ) and at the chinese church where we help out with an English language program (Yan Fook). With the waiters at Tommy's. With my barber, a chinese guy named Henry who speaks great English while giving a great haircut, and his assistant jessica, who gives a great shampoo/head massage afterward. With the security guards who work at our apartment complex. Our prayer is that each of these relationships would continue to get deeper and fuller and that we could show the love of Christ to all these people we have the joy of knowing.

Hope you all are having a great week. My prayers are with you!

Twice.

2009-10-14T00:25:00.003-05:00

At two different times I've been sitting in Starbucks writing a blog this past week.

(I'm kind of a blog perfectionist in the sense that it takes me a while to write one. I put a lot of thought into what I want to say. I don't just throw stuff on the blog at random. Contrary to the name, the "ramblings" are often the product of lots of thought and effort...)

The internet here is kinda sketchy. (And when you write a blog it supposedly autosaves every minute or so. --With good internet, that is.)

The thing is, when your internet goes out and you've just spent an hour on the same page writing and then press "submit", everything gets erased. And you realize the autosave feature stopped working about two minutes into your blog when the internet went out and you didn't know it.

(See the picture below for how I look.)

I'm trying to blog about a few things, guys. I promise. But for whatever reason, it doesn't like me this last week and a half or so.

Stay tuned. I'll try to rediscover these lost posts. May take a while.

Whooops...

2009-10-04T02:21:00.002-05:00

I had an "uh-oh..." moment today. It looked like this:

That's me accidentally deleting my contact list in my email account. And Ctrl+Z didn't work. I went through my old emails/facebook/etc. to try to reconstruct it as best as I could. But I know it didn't work all the way. I'm missing roughly 15-20 contacts that I had before.

I sent out my first email update letter. If you didn't get it, it's because you probably got deleted. So, if you would like to receive my email updates, please comment on here or send an email to micah@gracecampus.net and let me know that you are one of the victims of my finger clumsiness. Or if you weren't a contact I had and would like to receive them anyway, let me know that too! I'd love to spread the word about what's going on here!

Hope you are having a very merry Autumn Festival weekend (third-biggest Chinese holiday that happened last night...)

Miss you guys!

A random picture of my favorite animal

2009-09-20T12:08:00.005-05:00

This dog was just chillin outside a local business. It made me laugh. And it made me miss my lab and boxer back home. Sammy and Casey, we have a wrestling date sometime next spring/summer. You two better get ready: I'm coming for you.

A new top ten

2009-09-18T23:29:00.022-05:00

Here goes round two of my top ten lists. Not sure if it'll end up being a full ten, but we'll see how it goes...

1. Jesus has a heart for the people of Hong Kong, and I see it more every day. We've had some amazing experiences with neighbors, new friends, and acquaintances that remind me each day that God's heart for these people is so full of love. Encounters on the soccer pitch, on the bus, in the MTR (subway)--I see the smiling and the frustrated and the poor and the busy and I know that Jesus desires to redeem and to make all things new here in this city. There is a hunger here. I can feel it. Please pray for us and for those we encounter--that the name of our savior would be made famous here among the people of this fascinating city.

2. In case you aren't following me on twitter... Here are a few pictures from the past week. They aren't in any sort of order. Just a little randomness that I encounter. (BTW, if you want to follow me, my twitter ID is hkmicah)

A big (understatement!) and expensive ($800ish U.S.) watermelon:

A fun mall in Kowloon Tong called the Festival Walk. Oh, and the folks here who ice skate? Basically they're a bunch of twelve-year-old professionals who look like they will all be in the Olympics. Fascinating to watch.

Snacks in case you're hungry...

A blown-up picture of my iced coffee cup from Pacific Coffee Company. I'm pretty impressed with the greenness of this place. Everything is environmentally friendly.

3. Friends, friends, friends. We are making lots of them! I'll introduce you to them from time to time. These good-lookin folks are Sam Lo and Joanne Chan. They are some of the first people we've met here, and they've made us feel so appreciated and welcomed! Sam goes to University here, while his girlfriend Joanne goes to school in the UK. I'm so thankful for their hearts for Christ and the encouragement and joy they always bring to our get-togethers. Pray for them as they begin a new semester (and as they transition back to long-distance communication methods). We love you guys!

4. Scarcity of clothes and shoes for folks who are over 6' tall (er, 182 cm). In America, I wore a size M t-shirt (maybe the occasional L). Here, I may fit into an XL. Often, though, even that won't work. And I can't find any size 13 (47) shoes. I guess I may need to buy online and just pay international shipping costs. If anyone knows of a good HK place to buy big/tall stuff while I'm here, let me know...

5. Everyone is finally here! The Zach attack (aka Z-squared, aka Zach Furr and Zach Benson) and Mary arrived last friday, and what a joy they are to have here! The energy and fresh perspectives they bring (not to mention the wonderful friendship!) have been so appreciated. I'm so excited you three are here!

6. Grace for today. Here, more than anywhere else, I'm realizing that I have to have time alone with Jesus EACH and EVERY day if I want to walk in grace and joy. I can't live today on the work he did in my heart yesterday. I have to continually go to him and be renewed every morning. (Otherwise I am mean, surly, and altogether not much fun to be around.) His mercies truly are new every morning, though, and I find that when I meet with Him, that day is so much brighter and fuller. It truly is a daily bread encounter.

7. A few pics of the scenery:

Here's a pic from our second hike. Unlike the first, we didn't see any wildlife (no monkeys). BUT, that's probably a good thing, given the selection of wildlife that was around us... Jeffrey advised us to "Watch out for wild boar. Oh, and pythons. Oh, and cobras." Yikes.

A view of the river that stretches up through our neighborhood:

A little park outside our mall (Yes, nestled within the metropolitan landscape, little parks crop up in the most unexpected places!):

8. What I'm listening to: Just to name a few, John Mark McMillan's "Death in his grave", Hillsong's "Savior King" and "You Reign", Kathryn Scott's "Search me, Know me", Cory Asbury's "You are my hope", Matt Redman's "Did You Feel the Mountains Tremble?"

Some lines that are really resonating in me and giving me good times of meditation:

"I love you Lord, I worship you, hope which was lost now stands renewed / I give my life to honor this: the love of Christ, my Savior King"

"See now the King of Glory. Love of God, become my calling. Father, I surrender all I am to you forever"

"No one who waits on the Lord will ever be put to shame, for you are my hope"

And, looking out my window, this has resonated in me more than any other song since I've been here. It's my prayer for this city:

Did you feel the mountains tremble?

Did you hear the oceans roar?

When the people rose to sing of

Jesus Christ the risen one

Did you feel the people tremble?

Did you hear the singers roar?

When the lost began to sing of

Jesus Christ the risen one

And we can see that God you're moving

A mighty river through the nations

And young and old will turn to Jesus

Fling wide your heavenly gates

Prepare the way of the risen Lord

I think that'll do it for the top ten right now. A top eight isn't so bad. I'll blog again soon. Miss you guys!

What it's all about

2009-09-06T22:56:00.005-05:00

Grace. This is why we're here.

Another day from Spurgeon:

September 6

"If ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law." (Galatians 5:18)

He who looks at his own character and position from a legal point of view, will not only despair when he comes to the end of his reckoning, but if he be a wise man he will despair at the beginning; for if we are to be judged on the footing of the law, there shall no flesh living be justified. How blessed to know that we dwell in the domains of grace and not of law! When thinking of my state before God the question is not, "Am I perfect in myself before the law?" but, "Am I perfect in Christ Jesus?" That is a very different matter. We need not enquire, "Am I without sin naturally?" but, "Have I been washed in the fountain opened for sin and for uncleanness?" It is not, "Am I in myself well pleasing to God?" but it is "Am I accepted in the Beloved?" The Christian views his evidences from the top of Sinai and grows alarmed

concerning his salvation; it were better far if he read his title by the light of Calvary. "Why," saith he, "my faith has unbelief in it; it is not able to save me." Suppose he had considered the object of his faith instead of his faith, then he would have said, "There is no failure in Him, and therefore I am safe." He sighs over his hope: "Ah! my hope is marred and dimmed by an anxious carefulness about present things; how can I be accepted?" Had he regarded the ground of his hope, he would have seen that the promise of God standeth sure, and that whatever our doubts may be, the oath and promise never fail. Ah! believer, it is safer always for you to be led of the Spirit into gospel liberty than to wear legal fetters. Judge yourself at what Christ is rather than at what you are. Satan will try to mar your peace by reminding you of

your sinfulness and imperfections: you can only meet his accusations by faithfully adhering to the gospel and refusing to wear the yoke of bondage.

We all need grace. Hong Kong needs grace.

諸天哪，自上而滴，穹蒼降下公義；地面開裂，產出救恩, 使公義一同發生；這都是我 ─ 耶和華所造的。

Drip down, O heavens, from above, And let the clouds pour down righteousness; Let the earth open up and salvation bear fruit, And righteousness spring up with it. I, the LORD, have created it. (Is. 45:8)

A Morning up the mountain

2009-09-02T02:08:00.024-05:00

(NOTE: Before you read this post, read the one immediately below. It provides a childhood background for what follows.)

This morning, Jason, Scott, me, and our new friend Jeffrey (known by his Cantonese friends as Man Lok Tang--what a gnarly name! ...In fact, I'm gonna use his Canto name for the rest of the post, I think, just because it is so cool.) decided that it would be fun to go on a several-hours-long hike up and down one of the mountains overlooking Sha Tin (our little part of Hong Kong). The mountain looked like this:

B-e-a-utiful. We took a bus that brought us about 3/4 of the way up the back of the peak, then hiked the rest of the ascent and sort of trekked along the peak for a ways before the looooooooong road down. It was worth it. The views we saw overlooking Sha Tin were like this:

Slightly over halfway into the hike, with tired legs, parched throats, and sunburned foreheads (except for Man Lok Tang because he used sunscreen), we began our descent.

Now, while Hong Kong is a beautiful place, it can nevertheless be a place of danger. Our descent brought us into the dense overgrowth of the tropic wild (see the really green part of the mountain picture above), a place where, if one is not careful, death awaits.

An unsure step can find you toppling head over heels down one of the sharp precipices.

And even a sure step can lead you face-to-face with one of the evil menaces of the Hong Kong wild...

Under the cover of the canopy, where everything is dark and still, our path narrowed. Man Lok Tang suddenly motioned for us to stop. He had heard the voice of death howling close by. And sure enough, not ten yards away, this little guy stepped out of the shadows:

(Queue the females' saying "Awwwhh...")

You laugh now. But be warned. This critter is chock-full of rabies, a disease so menacing that even the popular TV show The Office devoted an entire episode to it's deadly potential (Don't believe me? Google the "Michael Scott's Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Pro-Am Fun Run Race For the Cure." They have T-shirts.). And it killed Old Yeller (well, I guess technically the bullet from Travis' gun killed Old Yeller. But you know what I mean.).

Jason, Scott, and Man Lok Tang inched past the creature. Mesmerized (and foolish!!), I stayed behind to watch.

The monkey, unafraid (due to the horrible rabies virus), boldly approached our narrow path and perched himself on a branch not four feet away from where I now had to walk.

(I'm a visual person. Here's how it looked so you can understand my peril.)

The Monkey's eyes locked on mine. Man Lok Tang, with the wisdom of his ancient Chinese heritage, shouted, "Don't look at it! It will attack you!"

Too late.

I had made eye contact with the beast. It wanted my blood.

I began to creep past the walking rabies. As I crossed under the shadow of his green throne, I thought I just might make it. Then, suddenly, this happened:

The monkey leapt from the tree at me. Kinda like this:

I sprinted away. It took off after me.

For several perilous moments, Scott, Jason, Man Lok Tang, and I fled the fuzzy devil as he chased us down the mountainside.

It looked a lot like this:

If we took a left, the monkey followed suit. If we jumped over a branch, it was close behind. Nothing we could do could shake the beast from nipping at our heels.

After what seemed like ages, the monkey finally slowed down. With one last scowl of displeasure, he turned around and scurried back up toward his throne, satisfied that he had protected his home from intruders. The four of us slipped silently to our knees, exhausted, thanking Jesus for his protection.

I think I may have nightmares tonight.

Setting the stage for the post above...

2009-09-02T01:55:00.012-05:00

Before you read the post above this, read this first!

It sorta sets the stage for where I'm coming from. To say I had a traumatic experience today that brought back suppressed childhood memories would be an understatement. (Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little... Play along...)

The following is a paper that I wrote for my 12th-grade writing class. We had to write a short personal narrative describing a life experience that had stuck with us over the years. The story you are about to read is an entirely truthful account of the events (unless my mind has somehow embellished one or two of the minor details). Take a look:

Bite Me: Memoirs from a Childhood

I do not hate animals. I am not cruel to them, and I do not abuse them. I have never let my dog loose on a neighbor’s cat, and I have never put a squirrel in the microwave. I have never washed a puppy in the washing machine, nor have I used a four-iron on a ferret. I once heard of a boy who buried a kitten in the ground deep enough that only its tiny head was sticking out. He then proceeded to roll his lawnmower over that same kitten. I have never done this. I do not sit on my front porch and shoot pigeons with a BB gun, and I do not feed Alka-seltzers to parrots.

For some reason, however, the animal world has declared me public enemy number one.

Two specific instances of animal abuse stick out in my scarred mind. The first began on a sunny day at my friends’ horse pasture. The setting in my memory is beautiful: A small stream runs at the end of the field; the sun glistens in the yellowing autumn grass; and my ten-year-old eyes are absorbed in viewing the most exotic four-footed steed I have ever seen…only this particular steed was more of the Eddie-Murphy persuasion. Yes, it was a donkey—a big, clumsy, hee-hawing, foot-stamping donkey. To a ten-year-old, this pathetic creature was far more interesting than any horse could ever be. I had never been so up-close and personal with any animal so delightfully, uh, well, goofy-looking, to be perfectly honest. Eager to experience the joys of this funny new object, I rushed over to tease the fuzzy creature.

And then it happened.

Danny (that was the donkey’s name) suddenly sprouted horns and five-inch fangs. Its fur became scales; its tongue, a sword. It breathed fire, reared back onto its hind legs, lunged, and chomped my tender little finger. I could muster only a muffled cry, and tears ran freely down my innocent face. Never in all my (ten) years of living had I experienced such malice from a furry friend. Well, to briefly some up the horrid story, my finger barely survived. Only after Neosporin and two (yes, not one, but two) Band-Aids did I breathe my sigh of relief. To this day I never look at a donkey without thinking of the viciousness of that event.

Thus ends animal story number one.

The second story occurred a few months later, but it is a tale far darker and far more hideous. Like the first, the day was not one of rain and gloom. The sun blazed freely, and, once again, nature teased me with her ironic sense of humor. I was spending the week at my uncle’s exotic game ranch, and his newest animal, a furry spider monkey cutely named Bethany, proved to be quite the colorful character. She entertained us with her mellow howl and her playful teasing. Everybody loved her, and we played with her for hours on end.

Satan lived inside of her.

It’s true. That fateful day Bethany had managed to escape from her cage. Everyone scurried outside to catch our favorite animal, and, with bananas and Bethany’s favorite squeaky toy in hand, I joined in the hunt. It was not long until we found her. She had climbed a small tree and quickly came down upon seeing the bananas and hearing our tender calls.

Then she turned on us.

Well, turned on me, actually. The next few moments seem somewhat hazy in my memory. My mother has the event on video somewhere, but I don’t think I could ever muster the emotional fortitude to view it. But the following is what I remember:

Bethany crawled down from the tree and, staring me down, stood a few feet in front of me. I think in that moment she was calling on all the powers of darkness and evil to come to her. She inched towards me. I held out a banana and sweetly called to her.

“Here Bethany. Come to Micah.”

She came to me all right. Actually, she came at me.

The demonic monkey flew the few feet that separated us. She caught my leg in her needlelike claws and scaled, well, um, 'northward'. The little Satan opened wide its dripping jaws and then closed them in a murderous snap around my…well, you get the picture. Let’s just say she didn’t quite make it up to my nose. I howled a fierce howl and kicked the animal away from me. My parents, my aunt, and my uncle quickly rushed to my aid. My brothers laughed. Feeling as though every strip of my ten-year-old masculinity had been torn from me, I cried intensely.

(Actually, nothing, praise God, was, in fact, torn from me. My jeans had prevented Bethany from inflicting on me any physical damage. The worst wound I did retain from the event was a scarred psyche and a hatred for all spider monkeys.)

Thus ends animal story number two.

Looking back on the two events, the memories have not faded from me at all. The wounds are still intense; the fear, still paralyzing. As I have grown since the time of Danny and Bethany, my regard for other animals has slowly increased. I do not hate the animal kingdom, and my luck in dealing with it has proven to be much better. One thing, however, I do know with certainty: I will never again look fondly upon any animal whose species ends with the letters O-N-K-E-Y.

_______

Now you are equipped to read the post above this. Enjoy.

A view from the window

2009-08-26T04:47:00.003-05:00

This is my view from my room in Hong Kong. Though the room is small, I have what I need (books, clothes, bed, pictures of people I love). And I get to have quiet times on my bed and be reminded of how creative and awesome God is.

New look for China?

2009-08-21T13:45:00.002-05:00

I'm thinking about starting a new Micah look. Any thoughts?

Moving along

2009-08-18T12:05:00.002-05:00

I haven't blogged in... wow. Quite some time.

I sort of took a hiatus from writing for several reasons. I finished my thesis, and it sorta used up all my creative/intellectual juices. So mentally, I was exhausted.

Also, I have taken this last season and just chewed on some stuff for myself. I am one of those people who normally shares what's going on in my life. Not a very private person, I don't guess. But lately I find myself having needed just to take things to heart and treasure them there. I am moving in SIX days to Hong Kong, and the past few months have been spent spiritually and emotionally preparing for that transition. I really want to be fresh for what's about to happen.

This summer has been tough/rewarding/tiring/amazing/trying/liberating/emotional/unique. I have spent so much time with loved ones these last few weeks and months. I can honestly say that relationally, this has been one of the richest seasons of my life. I am so thankful for the time I have been able to spend with Gabe and Dan, my folks, my close friends. It is tough counting down the days until I won't get to see their beautiful faces each day.

That being said, God is moving. He has shown me how much he loves me this summer in ways I can't put words to. I see his hand on my life and the lives of my family and my HK teammates. He is SO big!

I am going to be breaking my blogging hiatus for good in the next week. This post was just an update to sort of reacquaint myself with this whole blogging process. I'm not sure if I'll be keeping this same blog address from HK or if I'll be moving to a new one. I'll let you know.

Listening music

2009-03-12T00:38:00.002-05:00

So I found a cool new option on my blog. All the way at the bottom of the screen I've added a playlist of songs that I've been listening to lately. I specifically chose ones that either lyrically or just by the "feel" of the song complement the things I write on here.

If you'd rather read in silence, feel free to scroll down and press pause. Also, you can fast-forward or skip a song or whatever if you and I don't have the same taste in music.

A few things about the playlist: I'll be choosing new songs pretty frequently. I love music and as I hear new stuff that I really like, I'll be adding it to the list. And the music I choose--think of it as stuff that would come on at coffeeshops. Pretty laid back, chill music that won't interrupt your mood as you read. Also, the music isn't necessarily Christian or secular or whatever--it's a mix of both and it was chosen because I like the song.

You can create your own playlist at playlist.com. It's free. And if you have a blog and want to add it, let me know and i'll walk you through the steps.

Okay. Enough. Enjoy reading and listening!

(And I suggest you read with a cup of coffee... Good music and coffee always make reading better.)

What I'll be doing August 1st...

2009-03-02T21:34:00.018-06:00

"The mind of man plans, but the Lord directs his steps." -Proverbs 16:9

Yeah he does.

A while back I wrote a post about growing up and trying to figure out life. I was wondering about what was gonna happen after I graduated. I was wondering about career paths and about having money and about being a man who had his junk together. It's one of my favorite posts I've written because I think it really captured my heart at a very difficult moment in time. I think you should read it.

It's been about eight months since that post. God has shown up big in the meantime. Very big.

This past weekend I spent on the lake with 10 amazing men and women who share a vision of what life is all about. We swam in 50 degree lake water (brrr....), ate like kings, played some hilarious games, and laughed more than I can remember laughing in recent memory.

And we dreamed together.

It's a beautiful thing when people share what keeps them up at night and what gets them going in the deepest places of their soul.

Here's a passage that we are sorta stuck on lately. It is messing us up. This is our dream.

2 Cor. 5:

"The love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for Him who for their sake died and was raised. From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ, God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God."

Christ died for all...

Those who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who for their sake died...

God gave us the ministry of reconciliation...

God was reconciling the world to himself...

We are ambassadors for Christ...

A few others:

John 3:16--For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son...

Matthew 28--Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations...

Isaiah 6:8--Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for me?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

In the city of Hong Kong, there are 7 million people. Only 4% of them are Christians.

In the city of Hong Kong, there are 1.8 million people between the ages of 18-29.

In the city of Hong Kong, there are 7 major universities.

In the city of Hong Kong, college ministry is virtually nonexistent, and college students are widely considered to be the largest unreached people group in the city.

So.

As of August 1st, I'm gone. After lots of praying, seeking the advice of godly counsel, waiting on God, and hearing an emphatic "GO," I'm moving across the world. I'll be spending at least two years as a missionary to college students in one of the world's most influential cities. I'm going with a team of 11 who share a dream of seeing a nation changed for the glory of God.

Wow. God is big.

He definitely enjoys surprising me. This time last year I thought I'd be getting ready to get married and scurry off to seminary or law school. Instead, I'm on my way to China.

Please be praying for us. This journey is more exciting than we can say, and I'm sure that Satan isn't thrilled about it.

Our group is called Grace Campus Ministries. Our website (which will be updated shortly) is here. Matt Dean (what a stud!) is our fearless leader. Check out his blog here.

I'm sure that over the next several months I'll be blogging more about this journey than about anything else. Stay tuned. God is doing amazing things.

I'm supposed to be writing my thesis...

2009-02-24T14:07:00.012-06:00

...but the thoughts just aren't coming. I'm sitting in my favorite chair in my favorite coffeeshop looking at a blank word document.

The hardest part.

I normally get in a zone when I write. This is my 54th paper during my time at Auburn (I just counted--they're all saved in a folder on my laptop), and I can honestly say that for almost all of those, I normally find some stretch where I hammer out 75% of the paper in one sitting. It's glorious. The thoughts come and come and you sorta just move your fingers and let them out. The ideas have been up there percolating for days (or weeks, if I have done a decent job of not procrastinating) and they take shape almost on their own. It's like turning on a faucet and having them spill out, my task becoming simply to give shape to the puddle.

But this--the beginning--is the part about writing that I hate most. Coming up with an outline, or even just a small collection of thoughts from which to catapult, can take more time than writing the rest of the paper. I will stare at the screen and write sentence after sentence only to roll my eyes and erase it and laugh at myself for how awful the preceding thought just was. It is a frustrating process mainly because I am a perfectionist. I don't ever have "rough drafts"; I never have been someone who could do that. I stay on a sentence until it is (in my mind) perfect, and by the time I am at the end of a paper I have compiled a unified, grammatically correct series of "perfect" sentences that work together nicely and combine the right amount of academic bulls*** with real, tangible thoughts. I put it to bed and turn it in and trust that the process has resulted in something worthwhile. Occasionally I will go back through and change a word or two to impress professors ("commonplace" becomes "quotidian"; an "opponent of specific Catholic doctrine" becomes "antitransubstantiationionalist" and so forth). And if I'm feeling really bold, I'll throw in a curse word or two to be edgy (but not a real bad one...).

But not for this. I am about to write a 35-40 page thesis, a project on which I've been working for close to a year. I've read about 40 books now and have underlined and highlighted and annotated to the point of exhaustion. It is going to be written in chapters (each of which will be 10-15 pages) and will be, rather than a puddle of Micah thoughts, the collective knowledge of a smattering of philosophers and literary theorists from the better part of two centuries.

So I can't really stop and knock this out in a sitting. Or two. Or ten.

It's scary--I'll probably be devoting several hours a day for the next month to this enterprise. I'm hoping that the groove I normally fall into will be prolonged for a series of weeks. Because otherwise, the sun is coming out and Brett always text messages me for volleyball. And it's hard to say no when you know nothing is coming and that your doubles partner needs you.

Okay. Back to rolling my eyes and laughing at myself.

Gabe Brake

2009-02-20T09:44:00.006-06:00

...is ELITE.

Yesterday my brother's basketball team made it to the Elite Eight in the state playoffs. Gabe had 18 points. He is the captain of the 25-5 LAMP Golden Tigers. For a link to the article discussing the Tigers' awesome playoff game, go here:

Montgomery Advertiser Article

LAMP plays Saturday at 5:20 at the ACADome in Montgomery vs. Lafayette.

Also, yesterday he became one of Auburn University's Freshman Elite Scholars. That's the biggest scholarship he could win as an incoming freshman. He was one of six chosen out of an incoming class of over 6,000 (that means he is the top 0.1% of his class... ridiculous).

Proud of you, Gabe!

This is how you should pray...

2009-02-18T20:04:00.001-06:00

Found this on my pastor's blog. God must be smiling.

...Faith like a child...

Catching up

2009-02-18T18:55:00.010-06:00

Wow. January 4th was my last post. Entirely too long.

I'm changing. Maybe that's why I haven't blogged in 45 days. When you write, you're supposed to have hammered out all the rough patches. My life right now is rough patches. Not rough as in "bad" ("rough day..."). No. Rather, it's rough in more of a "rough draft" sort of way. Being refined. Being considered and reconsidered. Being worked through.

I'm knee-deep in my last semester at Auburn. That is a difficult thought to process. Auburn is home. Auburn is family. I'm trying to take it all in--the people, the places, the atmosphere, the tempo of my town. Spring is much different than fall. Fall is hustle and bustle and football and tailgates and bands at Supper Club and Thanksgiving and holidays and parties. Things slow down as spring hits. Days are spent in coffee shops or reading on Samford lawn or meeting friends for leisurely lunches and quiet nights. I enjoy the change of pace. It is a fitting end--slow enough for me to really pay attention and take hold of these last memories... the last rounds of frisbee golf... the last worship services... the last bible studies... the last meetings with friends. I run into people in the halls of Haley and wonder Will I run into this person again? Is this our last conversation? It's an eery feeling. Life is changing.

It's been a semester of spiritual growth so far for me. I've had some experiences that have caused me to hunker down and get to that place of quiet rest and patience and trust. I'm growing up and realizing things about myself and about God that I've been too busy to notice before. Change can do that to you. You realize God has always been there but you've never had to pay attention because you've been going on normal and unremarkable. Then the abnormal and remarkable hits and you wake up.

I'm seeing Him differently these days. I'm learning dependency. It's one thing to depend on Him when stuff is do-able in my own effort. Completely different as you realize He is the one constant as everything else in life is beginning to shift. Friends leave. Relationships end. You move.

God is there.

It hits me differently most days. Some days I can almost hear his voice, like he's whispering from just around a corner telling me to follow. Sometimes that closeness is so profound. Other days it is a journey in trust and in faith, wondering, thinking, reflecting, searching. Literally forcing yourself to know things in a way you have never had to know them before.

"When all around my soul gives way, he then is all my hope and stay."

"In all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight."

"I will never leave you, Micah, nor forsake you."

In those times, I feel like I grow most. Sometimes I think He lets me wander, never far away, always watching. Because in the wandering, I'm learning. And He is good. And He loves me. And He is preparing me for the next journey.

I'll try to get back into this blogging thing in a more regular fashion. It's raining outside and I want to be reading a book with a cup of coffee now. But I've been mulling over some big life decisions. I may have to mull on here a little bit...

Starbucks Loveletters

2009-01-02T17:49:00.005-06:00

I was standing in line at Starbucks the other day and I was looking at the selection of Tazo tea flavors.

African Red Bush.

Wild Sweet Orange.

Berryblossom White.

Calm.

Sweet Cinnamon.

I ordered my hazelnut latte and sat down to write on my broken laptop that is in various stages of needing to be thrown in the garbage because it is old and dilapidated.

They played the music too loud. (Greg, I wish you were still the SS at Opelika so that I could get my coffee for free and tell you to turn the music down.) It was old sappy love song stuff that is too much crescendo in all the wrong places and totally lame on the lyrical predictability. I was distracted.

At the table next to me there were two people who were totally cheesy and playing footsy and holding hands and looking longingly into each others’ eyes and whispering and giggling and being all sorts of gross if you aren’t in the mood to see that stuff.

Eye roll.

So I sit and don’t write on my broken laptop and throw up in my mouth while the music is too loud. Coffeeshops should come with rules against such nonsense.

I started thinking, though, in the midst of all my distraction, that I was ironically in the perfect place to write a heck of a love letter. The cheese oozing across from the table next to me combined with Tazo tea flavors and the rest of the menu and the song lyrics make for a wonderful array of sweet nothings to say to your honey.

So, for all of you young fellers out there who are having difficulty writing nice things to your sweetie, here is my Starbucks compilation. I am working on the patent but feel free to copy for now. It’s just a combination of Starbucks-y goodness and loudspeaker music.

My white berryblossom,

You are the wind beneath my wings. It’s all because of you that I believe I can fly. If I were my laptop you would be my missing Z key because You Complete Me. My sweet pumpkin, You are my fire, my one desire. If I were oatmeal, you would be my brown sugar because you add spice to my life. My extra-hot sweet gingersnap, I swear by the moon and the stars and the sky that I can love you like that. If I was a cinnamon roll, you would be the secret microwave in the back that customers aren’t allowed to know about because you make my heart feel warm. My creamy sweet peppermint, you are like a sip of iced passion tea lemonade—sometimes sweet, sometimes unexpectedly tart, but always refreshing. Your cinnamon buns make me hot like chocolate. If I am not doing something right, please let me know, and I would love to do it again for you—that is my guarantee. You nourish my heart like a Vivanno nourishing blend. I love you truly, madly, deeply, forever and ever, amen.

Your Muffin

Change

2008-12-26T20:09:00.010-06:00

Merry Day-After-Christmas. (And for you Aussies, Happy Boxer's Day)

I love this time of year. I am at home with my family, exams are over, the air outside is cool and clean and crisp enough to remind you that change is just around the corner. Moms and dads stop work to play, and (for me at least) all the things I thought of over the last few months but didn't have time to really chew on catch up to me and I ruminate.

Like now. I am sitting in Panera Bread (my favorite restaurant) listening to some cool jazz on the loudspeakers. The cymbals are splashy and the trumpet is dancing and the piano demands that I tap my foot and nod my head in agreement to whatever it is saying. I just spent an hour and a half reading a book uninterrupted and without a meeting looming in the distance or homework that I must convince myself to do.

Peace. Rest.

I have been thinking tonight and a lot over the past week and a half or so about change. I finished a few chapters in Thomas Pynchon's Vineland a few minutes ago, and as I dog-eared the page and closed the book I was reminded again about the way things end. These days--especially the last week--I feel like I am closing a chapter in my own book. This Christmas has been a bit somber for me as I contemplate how the Christmases I have known--and many of the experiences to which I am accustomed--are going to be changing.

I graduate in May from Auburn. After that it's a God journey. More than likely I will be spending a few years on the mission field, probably somewhere in another hemisphere close to people who don't know my Jesus.

While I am excited beyond words, I can honestly say that tonight I am a little scared and a little sad.

Maybe these are the last days of "normal" for me. Maybe my life never again looks like it does tonight or during these past few weeks. Maybe ideas like home or rest or safe or peace take on much different meanings as I venture off to manhood and to the journey God has for me.

I had a conversation with a great friend last night. I was venting a little about how I am somewhat somber this Christmas as I reflect on what has been and what is to come. I love my family and I love our Christmases together. I love watching my brothers grow up. I love coming home and feeling like the world stops and I enjoy love and quietness and friendship. I love family game night each December 24th and reading Luke 2 Christmas morning and eating turkey while laughing at Gabe's jokes and Dan's quick wit.

I stop tonight and I think back on all these precious treasures. A lump comes up in my throat as I realize it is all about to become somehow different.

Maybe next year I celebrate in a foreign land with friends. Maybe I don't have home for a while as I experience a season of great change and adventure and the unknown. Maybe I don't see loved ones for a while or play dominoes with mom and dad or take naps with my dogs or go to my brothers' Christmas tournaments and cheer because I am the proudest big brother there ever was.

I am thinking about this and I am reminded of a movie I saw. I think it is a Disney movie, but I am not sure. Anyway, there is this wonderfully cheesy line about two people who are separated by many miles but realize that they look up at the moon and know that it is the same moon they are seeing. Somehow that makes everything seem smaller and more manageable despite their distance. (Maybe it is An American Tale with the Linda Rondstadt love song "Somewhere Out There" being sung in the background?)

I think they are on to something, although I don't think the moon has anything to do with it.

We serve a great big, awesome, majestic, intimate Jesus. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He knows the plans he has for us, to prosper us and not to harm us and to give us a hope and a future. He loves us and hears us when we talk to him. He is our Prince of Peace, our Hope of Glory, our comfort in sadness, our strength in weakness, the healer of the broken, our friend, our intimacy, our joy.

I may not know what life looks like, but (to quote a great Matt Redman song) "I know with all my heart He's got the whole world in his hands."

"So I'll fear no evil, for You are with me, strong to deliver, mighty to save."

This is my savior. And he's my brothers' savior. And my mom's and dad's savior. (And if all dogs go to heaven, he is my lab Sammy's and my boxer Casey's savior as well.)

I am thankful this Christmas that no matter what the next few months (years... decades...) hold for me, I know that I am being caught up into an adventure bigger than me. It's the same adventure that my family and my close friends and my roommates are all on. It's the great story of Jesus loving the world and coming here to know us and rescue us and free us.

"The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them a light has shined...

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the Increase of his government and peace there will be no end, on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and to uphold it with justice and with righteousness from this time forth and forevermore. The zeal of the Lord of hosts will do this." (Isaiah 9)

---Merry Christmas

However, you are not the wind in the orchard

2008-12-03T10:41:00.005-06:00

Billy Collins is perhaps the best poet alive. Former Poet Laureate of the U.S., he's pretty hilarious. And a genuius.

This video makes me laugh. Hopefully you will enjoy. (Note, this video was stolen off Don Miller's blog. I can't take credit for finding it myself... Thanks Don.)

Random survey: What are the worst lines of poetry you've ever read?

Taking a hiatus

2008-11-28T11:10:00.003-06:00

A much needed one.

I have not been blogging lately--or doing much else, for that matter. The past few weeks in Auburn have been crunch time for this English major. 35 pages due before the break and 15 more the Tuesday after.

I apologize for not being more active on here. I think it is a blogging faux pas to have a blog with consistent readership and then disappear for over half a month.

So, to let you in on the goings-on of Micah, I've been spending time with my favorite people in the world: My family.

Watched my brother headline the High School Roundup Monday afternoon with a filthy display of athletic prowess on the basketball court.
Been playing some more frisbee/disc golf with my awesome brothers.
Watched some Kung Fu Panda with Dan and Gabe and Lizzy (many laughs...)
Pool, Ping-Pong, episodes of The Office, Cracker Barrel with Daniel, Scrabble with Mom, naps with the two women in my life (Casey, my boxer, and Sammy, my yellow lab)

Essentially, I have been giving my mind a much needed rest from everything except enjoying my family and loving on them. I have, however, been reading two good books of late: Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris and Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. They have been teaching me a lot about healthy, Christ-centered relationships (romantic and otherwise).

Now, I am sitting in Panera about to interrupt this mental solace and attempt to work through the last of my major papers for the semester. Due Tuesday (way to procrastinate, Micah).

Here are my a few of my prompts from which to choose: Any suggestions?

How does Joyce articulate the spontaneous conspiracy of eros, death-drive, nostalgia, and art while nonetheless suggesting that eros and art might elude the murderous undertow of their companions?
How does the phantasmagoric rendering in "Circe" of a motif or encounter or pattern or trauma from earlier in Ulysses put into play multiple interpretive possibilities for construing the significance of what is projected into phantasmagoric spectacle?
How does the impress of biological sensations and rhythms upon the direction, pace, and tonality of consciousness's processing of experience both open the self to unexpected insights and encourage its retreat into pre-fabricated, conventional modes of construing significance?

...

Yeah. So, I am over this. Ready to be done with classes. (Finish strong, Micah. Finish strong, Micah. Finish strong, Micah.)

I hope you are having a very merry Thanksgiving. Remember to take a moment to tell Jesus how much you are thankful for Him.

James 1:17 -- Every good and perfect gift comes from above, from the Father of Lights, with whom there is no variation or change.

Okay. James Joyce. Sigh. Here we go.

White flags

2008-11-11T08:34:00.004-06:00

Surrender.

It's tough. It's not fun. Nobody likes it. Especially guys who like to control things and win.

I've been learning what it means in a very profound way this semester. It has sorta become a theme for me--letting go of life and giving it to God. That's a difficult place to be in as I wind down my first semester of my senior year. Everything in me wants to control things. To take over. To be in the driver's seat.

But Jesus... Wow...

His way is perfect. He's showing me daily what it means to surrender my decisions--small things like what to do with my four hours of down time after class and big things like career and moving and dating and all that grown-up stuff--to him. And it is INCREDIBLE. He can lead my life so much better than I can.

I was doing my bathro... er, 'alone-time' reading yesterday. I read Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest. It is an incredible little devotional that is loaded with truth. November 10 is about as clear of a picture of what it looks like to give stuff to God and watch him work. Here it is:

FELLOWSHIP IN THE GOSPEL
Nov. 10

"...fellow laborer in the gospel of Christ... (1 Thess. 3:2)

After sanctification, it is difficult to state what your purpose in life is, because God has moved you into His purpose through the Holy Spirit. He is using you now for His purposes throughout the world as He used His Son for the purpose of salvation. If you seek great things for yourself, thinking, "God has called me for this and for that," you barricade God from using you. As long as you maintain your own personal interests and ambitions, you cannot be completely aligned or identified with God's interests. This can only be accomplished by giving up all of your personal plans once and for all, and by allowing God to take you directly into His purpose for the world. Your understanding of your ways must also be surrendered, because they are the ways of the Lord.

I must learn that the purpose of my life belongs to God, not me. God is using me from His great personal perspective, and all He asks of me is that I trust Him. I should never say, "Lord, this causes me such heartache." To talk that way makes me a stumbling block. When I stop telling God what I want, He can freely work His will in me without any hindrance. He can crush me, exalt me, or do anything else He chooses. He simply asks me to have absolute faith in Him and His goodness. Self-pity is of the devil, and if I wallow in it I cannot be used by God for His purpose in the world. Doing this creates for me my own cozy "world within the world," and God will not be allowed to move me from it because of my fear of being "frost-bitten."

...Don't stay cozy. Get in the thick of it. Let him crush you, exalt you, or do anything else He chooses. He's a great adventure. The greatest in the universe.

Coffee God's Way

2008-11-04T14:01:00.005-06:00

I came across this video on a blog I regularly read. I love Jesus and I love coffee. But watching this video really got me wondering about the state of the American church. It's hilarious, but sobering at the same time. Any thoughts?

(Brian, I totally stole this from you. I guess that makes you a big time blogger now. You have folks copying stuff from your site. You stud...)

That Jesus guy

2008-11-03T18:44:00.006-06:00

...is pretty awesome. I've been meditating the past week or so on the character and person of Jesus Christ. As senior year has been coming to the halfway point, I'm still facing many serious life issues. Uncertainty. Confusion. Needing direction.

However, I've been experiencing God in a way I never have. One of these days I'll take a few hours and write my story on here. It's been a crazy roller coaster of emotions and experiences over the past year. But the one constant in all of it has been my Savior. He's carried me through it, and I have had an overwhelming sense of His love and grace. Focusing on who He is has been amazing. It gives me hope and lets me rest. So this is what I've been meditating on. This is my Jesus:

He loves me. (Jn 3:16, 1 Jn 4)
He is near. (Ps. 145:18)
He hears my prayers and He speaks to me. (Ps. 143)
He heals the broken and provides for his children. (Ps. 147)
He has a plan for my life, and He wants to see me have victory all along the journey. (Jer. 29:6-11)
He delights in my dependence on him. (Ps. 147)
He desires my obedience, and in that obedience is joy and abundant life (1 Jn 4)
His Spirit gives me power. (2 Pet 1:3)
My name is inscribed on the palms of His hands. (Is. 49:16)
He is with me: I do not need to be afraid. (Is. 41:10, 43:1-6)
In His presence is fulness of joy. (Ps. 16:11)
If we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. (1 Jn 5:14)
He makes a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. (Is. 43:19)
He will wage war for those whom He loves (Ps. 18)
He is gracious, slow to anger, rich in love, and good to all. (Ps. 145)
He will strengthen me and help me and uphold me with hsi righteous right hand. (Is. 41:10)
He, the Lord my God, holds my right hand. It is He who says, "Fear not, I am the Lord who helps you." (Is. 41:13)
When I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light for me (Micah 7)
He creates in me a clean heart and renews a steadfast spirit within me.(Ps. 51)
He casts all our sins into the depths of the sea. (Micah 7:19)
He keeps in perfect peace those whose mind is set on Him (Is. 26:3)
He makes level the path of the righteous (Is. 26:7)
He ordains peace for us (Is. 26:12)
He trains my arms for battle and sets me securely on high places (Ps. 18:33-34)
His law is perfect (Ps. 19)
He has not hidden His face from us, but has heard when we cry to Him (Ps. 22:24)

"Behold, this is our God; we have waited for Him, that he might save us. This is the Lord; we have waited for him; let us rejoice and be glad in our salvation." (Is. 25:9)

Frisbee lessons

2008-10-28T08:33:00.006-05:00

I played frisbee golf for the first time the other night.

In a word: Incredible.

Something about going out with two of your best guy friends on campus when it's late and nobody is around and being able to just goof off and throw things and hit things. Ultimate boy time.

For those of you who don't know the rules, it is essentially just a game of golf played through an urban landscape with a frisbee for the golf ball and your wicked muscular arms as the driver. Just throw the frisbee. Wherever it lands, pick it up and throw again. Each throw is a stroke.

For example:

Hole 1--Standing at Toomer's corner, par four to hit the lathe next to Samford.

Hole 2--Standing at Samford, par 3 to hit the pillar in front of Foy.

Hole 8--From the top of the parking deck, par four to hit the amphitheater closet.

Hole 14--From the top of Mell Street, par 3 to hit the stop sign on Miller.

Etc.

I highly recommend this game. Great guy time (AND, if done right, you could also get all bundled up with your honey and have a romantic walk-and-throw through campus late one night...)

It's funny how Jesus shows up even in something simple like this new hobby. I was using someone else's good frisbee (the expensive kind). I was told NOT to lose it, for fear of my life. The 17th hole was over a bunch of foliage, and of course instead of sailing it clear across for a 'fairway' approach, I planted that round frustration right among the thick bushes.

Thick. Bushes. The type of thick bushes where you could hide a small minivan.

It's twelve at night. I can't find this sucker anywhere. I look for about twenty-five minutes. No luck.

By this time I am all scratched up, my friend is panicking because it was his roommate's best frisbee, and I am holding up the game. So what should you do when you're at the end of your ability to get something done?

You pray.

"Jesus, you're the God of the Universe. You know exactly where this stupid frisbee is. After all, you made the thing."

I didn't even get the words out of my mouth when I felt like I should just look down.

What was I standing on?

Jesus is incredible. As soon as I just acknowledged his authority, everything worked out. It was a great example of God's presence in the small stuff, of his love for me even when it seems silly or trivial, of the way he cares and watches over me.

Go play frisbee. And go pray. And call me--I'll go with you. I'm sorta addicted now.

Loneliness

2008-10-23T14:11:00.008-05:00

Ever feel lonely in a crowd?

This semester I am experiencing the most profound loneliness of my entire life.

I see T-shirts for Auburn football that talk about Saturdays as "the greatest time you could ever have with 87,451 of your closest friends." We refer to AU as the loveliest village on the plains. We talk about the Auburn Family.

I am a senior here, and contrary to the messages above, I spend most days and evenings feeling like I am all by myself.

It's not necessarily that I don't feel like I have friends--after all, I now have over 600 friends on facebook (and since we are FBO--"Facebook Official"--that means the friendship is awesome, right?). I know tons of folks on campus. I see on average 10-12 people I know just in the short time I am walking to and from classes. I have lunch with people 2-3 times per week, play on an intramural volleyball team, co-lead a weekly bible study, and have great roommates.

It's a different kind of loneliness. I sit in Encounter on Thursdays surrounded by people I know and love, but I am overwhelmed weekly by an intense sadness that always seems pointed at this feeling of isolation. I can spend an afternoon playing pool with roommates, go to bible study with 9 great men, meet a friend for coffee afterwards, and still go to bed feeling an emptiness, an aching that somehow translates to my heart telling me "You are in this by yourself."

I feel like I am in a place where nobody gets me, or that if they do, they aren't where I am. It's my senior year. I am confused about life in this time of being 'in-between.' My two closest friends (my roommate Greg and Brad Acton, a stud of a guy) graduated and moved away. My girlfriend and I broke up about a month and a half ago. My close friends in Auburn are basically spending the semester figuring out plans about graduation and jobs and growing-up stuff or they are battling their senior classes, either of which means no time to spend over a cup of coffee or a movie or a walk-and-talk through campus. Spiritually, I am in a place of uncertainty as I pray about life and mission and passion and direction, but I feel that rather than being overwhelmed by a feeling of God's presence, I am following his still, small voice that comes across as a whisper.

I saw a girl on campus the other day that I've known for a few years. I stopped to say hey and we spent about five minutes catching up before we had to run off to do other things. She's engaged. Showed me the massive ring. Thrilled to pieces that she's marrying the love of her life. Can't wait to start that adventure. Life couldn't be better.

She's a great girl--loves Jesus, knockout-status beautiful, smart--and I couldn't be happier for her. But even that five-minute conversation reminded me that I am in a place where I don't have that sort of connection.

I feel like I have hundreds of relationships that are very vibrant, but very surfacy. I miss those guys in life that are genuinely brothers. Greg, Brad, Gabe and Dan, Josh--the guys with whom you can pop open a beer (or coffee, since Gabe and Dan aren't 21) and talk about the deepest things. The guys that know you, that hug your neck when you are down and say the thing that is exactly what you need to hear, that can look at you and ask "what's wrong?" without your having to say a word. The guys that at the end of the day you know are there for you through thick and thin. The guys that become your heroes. The guys that you'll love for life.

I know the answer. Jesus. In his presence is fulness of joy. He has searched me and he knows me. He is there. He is not silent.

It seems like the church answer, but I know it is true. I know that it is the truest thing in the universe.

I'm trying to learn how to abide. I'm trying to learn that the longings in my heart for connection, for intimacy--these are actually the very longings that He can fill in me more perfectly and completely than anyone else. It is a journey I am on from viewing Jesus as the far-off, Creator God to Jesus the friend, Jesus as life and breath, Jesus as the person who pursues me passionately in an epic love affair. I know that He has brought me to this place of yearning for relationship and has put this aching in me that sometimes is so profound it almost feels like a physical pain specifically so that I will thirst for Him. He alone can slake that thirst.

I know this is the answer. Actually, it is THE ANSWER. For all of life. I am created to know and love and be loved by God. I am created to respond to His passionate pursuit of my heart.

It's tough learning to go from the 'knowing' stage to the place of abiding. I'm getting there. Jesus is getting me there. He is glorious. He is intimacy. He is satisfaction. He is hope.

I'll get there soon, and when I do I know it will blow me away.

Until then, anyone for coffee?

Montgomery's new Junior Miss is crowned

2008-10-21T09:06:00.003-05:00

...And it's Lizzy Hayes. My brother's girlfriend. (she's in the red in the middle)

Lizzy, you are awesome. So proud of you.

Here's the snippet that appeared in the Montgomery Advertiser this morning:

Monday night a five-judge panel selected Lizzy Hayes to represent the Montgomery County Junior Miss Class of 2009 at the Alabama Junior Miss Scholarship Program in January. Hayes is a senior from Loveless Academic Magnet Program Magnet High School. She was selected as Montgomery County’s Junior Miss from a field of thirty-two high school seniors representing thirteen schools. Hayes is the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Scott Hayes. After gradation, Hayes plans to attend the University of Alabama to become a high school math teacher. Scholarships totaling more than $12,000 were awarded the Top Ten finalists, two winners each in the fitness, self expression and talents categories, a single winner for the highest scholastics and a single winner for the Junior Miss Spirit award.

...Yeah, so you are kind of a big deal now. people know you. Great job, Lizzy!

Wedding mishaps...

2008-10-20T11:31:00.003-05:00

This may be the winner of the "Worst Best Man of All Time" Award. This is one of the funniest videos I may have ever seen. (Note, there is one cuss word at the very end. Stop it about two seconds early to avoid hearing it...)

My Utmost, October 12

2008-10-12T23:19:00.003-05:00

I was reading through Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest. If you're not familiar with it, it's the best-selling daily devotional in the history of daily devotionals. It has tremendous wisdom in its pages, and it consistently encourages/admonishes me towards Christ.

Today's entry really applied to me. I'm putting it on here--maybe it can encourage you too.

"Getting into God's Stride"
October 12

"Enoch walked with God..." (Genesis 5:24)

The true test of a person's spiritual life and character is not what he does in the extraordinary moments of life, but what he does during the ordinary times when there is nothing tremendous or exciting happening. A person's worth is revealed in his attitude toward the ordinary things of life when he is not under the spotlight (see John 1:35-37 and 3:30). It is painful work to get in step with God and to keep pace with Him--it means getting your second wind spiritually. In learning to walk with God, there is always the difficulty of getting into His stride, but once we have done so, the only characteristic that exhibits itself is the very life of God Himself. The individual person is merged into a personal oneness with God, and God's stride and His power alone are exhibited.

It is difficult to get into stride with God, because as soon as we start walking with Him we find that His pace has surpassed us before we have even taken three steps. HE has different ways of doing things, and we have to be trained and disciplined in His ways. It was said of Jesus--"He will not fail nor be discouraged..." (Isaiah 42:4) because He never worked from His own individual standpoint, but always worked from the standpoint of His Father. And we must learn to do the same. Spiritual truth is learned through the atmosphere that surrounds us, not through intellectual reasoning. It is God's Spirit that changes the atmosphere of our way of looking at things, and then things begin to be possible which before were impossible. Getting into God's stride means nothing less than oneness with Him. It takes a long time to get there, but keep at it. Don't give up because the pain is intense right now--get on with it, and before long you will find that you have a new vision and a new purpose.

www.DateToSave.com

2008-10-07T08:42:00.012-05:00

Okay, so I saw this and posted it in the post below, but after checking out the site in more detail, I have to give attention to it in its own post. It's that good.

A girl named Tamara (does not give her last name) has begun a trend called "missionary dating." I am going to let her speak for herself. This is straight off her website, http://www.datetosave.com/. Check it out:

Calling all Hot Women of the LORD!!!

Hello, my name is Tamara! As you can probably tell, I'm a Christian woman who loves Jesus Christ and cares for all humans, even the wicked. What you probably don't know is that I'm hot. My picture below isn't really that good (Micah's note: she has a rather fuzzy picture of her face, but you can't really make it out too well). I want to use my beauty for GOD, and want to encourage Christian women to do the same, according to the Great Commission.

So, I created this web page for information regarding the calling of Missionary Dating. First of all, it helps if you're good looking. Romans 12:1 says "to offer your bodies as living sacrifices." Since our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19), it makes sense that we should use our beautiful bodies to glorify HIS name. The Holy Spirit will work the strongest since He's in our body, right? That's the best position to be in!

Not only can we date hot guys (as only hot Christian girls could do), but hopefully we can lead them to God and help them get saved from the burning fires of Hell. I've outlined a few tips to help you get a date off to the right start, step-by-step. Jesus saves through hooking up with cute heathen guys!

Remember, Jesus loves you!

Tamara goes on to give ten "tips" for how you should roll as a a hot christian chick on your date. Look at these (try not to spill your coffee while you laugh...):

10 Christian Dating Tips for Effective Missionary Dating

1. If he tells your that you are hot...Tell him God made you hot.

2. If he wants to hold your hand...Give him a Bible.

3. If he tries to get closer...Tell him the Holy Spirit is wooing him.

4. If he asks to pay for dinner...Remind him that Jesus also paid a debt He did not owe!

5. If he reaches his arm around you...Tell him that nobody will ever be as close to you as Jesus is.(or ask him if you instead could "lay hands" on him in prayer)

6. If he tries to kiss you...Remind him that a kiss killed your Savior. (and you're not ready to "speak in tongues")

7. If he asks to come inside...Ask him if he has asked Jesus to come inside his heart.

8. If he tells you he loves you...Tell him that Jesus loves him.

9. If he gets angry that you won't put out...Clarify to him that W.W.J.D. does NOT mean "Who would Jesus Do."

10. After you dump him...Tell him that Jesus Christ will never leave or forsake him.

She then has a Frequently Asked Questions page. These are incredible:

Questions About Missionary Dating

Here are a few questions that have come up about the Date to Save Missionary Dating Ministry...

Should you date one person until he comes to Christ, or should you date lots of people?

Jesus told us to reach the "outermost parts of the world." I mean, I'm not going to fly to Kenya and date some guy who eats worms, but I think for me, "outermost parts of the world" means all the hot guys that live around me here in Fremont, California. But, God told me not to be a polygamist, so the goal would be to dump your boyfriend before witnessing to your next one. If you follow my tips, you should have no problem!

Are you available to date? I think you're hot.

First of all, God made me hot. Second of all, how would you know a hot girl based on one picture? I'm so much better looking than that. Thanks for the offer, but I don't date anyone I meet online. So, if you've emailed me, that automatically counts you out of my prospects, unless you are cuter than Matthew McConaughey and aren't a Christian. And you're not. And aren't.

What happens if the person I am dating becomes a Christian?

Praise God!!! That hasn't happened to me yet (still just planting seeds!), but you have two choices: Dump him and start dating a better-looking nonbeliever... or keep dating the person you're with now. I'd just see how hot he (or she) is and base the decision on that. The Bible says "man looks at the outward appearance; God looks at the heart." We're definitely not God, so just decide if your date is hot enough for you (after praying about it, of course).

I think I'm in love, but I don't think my boyfriend is going to become a Christian... What do I do?

This happens all the time... but here's a failproof solution: just tell him that you're going to date Jesus for a while. This will help you get your priorities straight while you look for another hot guy to date, and it will show your ex-boyfriend how much Jesus means to you. What a great witness!

....

Sorry, I was taking a moment to gather myself after...whatever that was.

Finally, she even offers merch you can buy:

The Doggie T-Shirt ($21.95):

The"Date to Save, for the Love of God" mouse pad ($15.99):

And finally, The Christian "Missionary Dating Saved Me" Thong ($14.95). (I guess this may be a last-ditch effort to save the guy...)

This is just really creepy... Not sure that this is how Jesus envisioned us to be fulfilling the Great Consummation... er, Commission...

"Jesus spins me right round, baby, right round" and other jokes

2008-10-06T13:28:00.017-05:00

I was in my History of American Religion class this morning and we talked about the cultural-religious overlap; that is, we were talking about the ways that culture and religion are often blended in order to make a product that is religous and socially appealing or more relevant or political. I spent some more time trying to find some examples of this. Some of these really make me laugh. Take a look:

Mary wants to set your world on fire:
Is Jesus playing with them? Or is he just being a bully and holding the ball too high? Yo, let me get my Jesus bling
"You chose to be a teacher instead of a lawyer and, thus, did not live Your Best Life Now. Lose a turn."
Mr. Miyagi Jesus:
Christmas Dress-up Jesus game:

Jesus is gone to make my Gangsta's Paradise

Quit smoking or you'll be smoking forever...

Behold, I am a man of unclean lips and my breath is stank.

Hey dude! Are you looking for a way to witness to your non-believing neighbors while taking their money in a friendly game of poker? You're in luck!

With Faith Chips you can now gamble your pagan friends right into the kingdom. Imagine how your neighbors will thank you for the gift of eternal life right after you've lightened their pocket by $500 in a friendly game of Hold Em'.

Planning a trip to Las Vegas? Bring 'Faith Chips' with you and "accidently' drop them on floor of the casinos. You'll be able to spread the word without actually talking to anyone.

With Faith Chips you never need to worry about gambling addictions either. Once your pagan friends 'Go All In for Jesus' you can help them enroll in a Celebrate Recovery.

Get your Faith Chips today!!

...Because this is EXACTLY what Baby Jesus looked like when he was born in the Middle East...
I'm, like, totally a righteous babe... We should, like, totally hook up so you can, like, be born again and stuff...

Wheeeeeeeeee! (er, Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!) I am saved!
And FINALLY, this may be the most ridiculous (and quite funny) "worship service" I've ever seen. Watch at least the first few minutes... (But fast-forward to about 1:00 before you start it). Totally worth it!

The Donald Miller Blog

2008-10-01T19:57:00.003-05:00

...is hilarious.

WWW.DONMILLERIS.COM

I want to link to one of his posts in particular: This is an article in which Don and Barack Obama e-mail each other. One of the biggest belly laughs I've had in a while.

LINK TO DON MILLER AND BARACK DIALOGUE

Enjoy!

Jesus thoughts and Psalm 18

2008-09-28T21:41:00.024-05:00

A.W. Tozer, a great theologian, writes, "What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us... Worship is pure or base as the worshiper entertains high or low thoughts of God."

I am struggling with this quote lately. What do I think about when I think about the Lord? About Jesus?

Sometimes I think that we all think about God like this (and, no kidding, this is the FIRST image on google image results when I typed in 'jesus'):

Is this really who Jesus, Creator of the Universe, the Image of the Invisible God, really, actually is? Is he some white dude with chick-hair who has a little lamb in his hands? The sun is falling softly around him in romantic hues. He has clean hands that look like they've never touched a tool in his life. And for all the light around him, he's pretty pasty. Not a lot of sun exposure.

Really?

I am struggling, y'all, because I think that I sometimes approach Jesus like he's the white guy who is very safe. My Christianity isn't very edgy most of the time because I think I am serving a guy who looks like the above. Not very inspiring. Honestly, I'd pick on the dude.

How about this one above? It was the third image on google images. An equally wussy dude. He plays with butterflies and hangs out with kiddies, for goodness' sake! What a nerd! He'd probably be that weird guy that was in his thirties and still watched disney movies and played world of warcraft or collected pokemon cards and had the neighborhood kids in for lemonade.

THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE. (Sorry for the 'lifes' word. I'm an english major--that bugs me...) I'll call this guy "Buddy Jesus." He's your friend, your homeboy. He'd throw back a few beers with ya while you checked out chicks and talked about Will Ferrell and the latest episode of the Office and farted. He's not very inspiring, but he's there for you like any bro should be. He'll be there to talk about your plans for wealth and prosperity. He isn't dangerous, and he never is angry. He just wants to be your friend. Maybe this is Joel Osteen's Jesus. (Okay, low blow there... Sorry guys... :)

Here's a Jesus who makes all things fresh and new. It's just for laughs...:

Then there is this one, a new idea of Jesus from the not-so-hit movie Hamlet 2.

Enough said... I don't think I'm even going to dignify this with a comment. Suffice it to say that:

THIS IS NOT MY JESUS!

I have really been trying to challenge myself to rethink 'Jesus-ness.' To use a spiffy theological word, I am working out my christology. I think that I see Jesus as a safe little pasty white dude that hangs out with kids.

Y'all, that just isn't cutting it for me! I am reading through Francis Chan's Crazy Love, and he's blowing me away by some very simply truths about who God is. And you know what? He isn't anything like the above depictions.

Maybe it is just the guy in me, but I can't get on board with a God who is safe and sweet and a little queerish. I've lately been praying that I would experience an edgy Christianity--one that is challenging and a great adventure. One that amazes and changes you and makes you stand in awe.

I am camping out in Psalm 18. Thank you, Jesus, for this picture of Yourself! This is one of the most remarkable images of a DANGEROUS, UNSAFE, ADVENTROUS, INSPIRING God I've come across. I think that this gets a little closer to an image of the "Real" Jesus.

Let me set it up: David is praying for rescue. He is fleeing his enemies. He is in danger. He calls to God, and God shows up in a mighty, awesome way. Take a look. I'll start in verse 4:

4 The cords of death encompassed me; the torrents of destruction assailed me; 5 the cords of Sheol [Hell] entangled me; the snares of death confronted me.

6 In my distress I called upon the Lord; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice,and my cry to him reached his ears.

7 Then the earth reeled and rocked; the foundations also of the mountains trembled and quaked, because he was angry. 8 Smoke went up from his nostrils, and devouring fire from his mouth; glowing coals flamed forth from him.

9 He bowed the heavens and came down; thick darkness was under his feet. 10 He rode on a cherub and flew; he came swiftly on the wings of the wind. 11 He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him, thick clouds dark with water. 12 Out of the brightness before him hailstones and coals of fire broke through his clouds.

13 The Lord also thundered in the heavens, and the Most High uttered his voice, hailstones and coals of fire. 14 And he sent out his arrows and scattered them; he flashed forth lightnings and routed them. 15 Then the channels of the sea were seen, and the foundations of the world were laid bare at your rebuke, O Lord, at the blast of the breath of your nostrils.

16 He sent from on high, he took me; he drew me out of many waters. 17 He rescued me from my strong enemy and from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me. 18 They confronted me in the day of my calamity, but the Lord was my support. 19 He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me, because he delighted in me.

Wow. That blows me away. What a picture of God in his glory! In his might! He thunders! Smoke is in his nostrils! He loves me and he pursues me to rescue me! What a picture! Holiness, majesty--I think of these words.

On my Christology: It is so much easier for me to stand in awe before a Savior who is the mighty rescuer of those in need, the subduer of the whole universe. Nothing can stand before him, and nothing can compare to who he is. I think that if we all were able to get just a half-second glimpse of the person of Jesus, our world would be so shaken that we would NEVER be the same again. Our lives would become a radiant reflection of his glory just like Moses' face when he saw God on Mt. Sinai. I am praying that God would show me himself in this sort of way. I don't ever want to be comfortable again with an inadequate idea of who my savior and Lord is.

Okay, that's all I have. But this is fun. here are a few more images of who Jesus is NOT. Just for laughs:

The Jesus who is there just to fix you when you're broke or hurt:

I don't even know what to say about this one. Dixie meets redneck meets NRA, card-carrying Jesus. This is definitely not Him:

Jesus for video-gamers:

Jesus as a bumper sticker:

And finally:

(Okay, so that's not Jesus. It's johnny damon. But it looks like him.)

"Holding Fast to the Word of Life"

2008-09-26T08:42:00.003-05:00

Encounter last night was incredible.

We are studying through Phillippians 2, and we camped out on these seven words (2:16) during last night's talk.

We viewed this clip during Matt's talk, and it is one of the most profound and vivid representations of what it means to hold fast to Jesus.

99 Balloons:

On Depression

2008-09-24T11:15:00.016-05:00

Okay. Confession time: I have had a long and (somewhat) constant struggle with depression. It is that thorn in my flesh that seems to creep up at the weakest of times and catch me off guard. Most people don't know about it--I'm pretty good about putting on a happy face when I am truly groaning with everything in my spirit. (Nobody wants to be the constant buzzkill!)

Interestingly, though, I've been experiencing God so profoundly lately. I've had tremendous times of prayer. Tremendous times of honesty. I am not bragging when I say that I honestly feel like I've been walking in obedience. I haven't been depressed in a while (months, maybe?).

Yesterday, however, I for some reason woke up into this yucky, alone, anxious sadness. I recognize it immediately. We have gotten to know each other pretty well. It has seemed like a constant companion at times.

I've been to counseling. I've practiced the power of positive thinking. I've exercised.

All of those things work well, I guess. (It does help to drop twenty on a guy up at the basketball courts, for example. But, at the end of the day, you still feel empty and alone and sad when you lay your head on your pillow.)

Through my struggle, though, I've come to a conclusion: There is ONE THING and ONE THING ONLY that will overcome any and all taint of sadness: Beholding JESUS.

Seeing the person of Jesus Christ and standing on the truth of who He is (and who He is in me!) will send depressed thoughts running. Any loneliness leaves--I know the King of the Universe! Any fear leaves--My name is inscribed on the palm of His hand! When I walk through the fires, I will not be scorched, for He is with me! And Sadness? --I have the joy of the Lord! In His presence is FULNESS of joy, and at His right hand are pleasures forever.

That is not to say it isn't a continued struggle. It is not a one-time-and-it's-gone thing. It is a renewing of my mind each moment. I have to put on the full armor of God every morning, and I have to take it up again about 100 times a day. I have to set my mind on things above--a truly difficult endeavor when you are overwhelmed with sadness and despair. But Christ in me is the HOPE of glory! I can do all things (including overcoming times of depression) through Christ who gives me strength.

I have recently discovered a jewel: It is called "Desert Song" by Hillsong, and it has become an anthem of sorts for me. It talks about the times like I'm having now. The Desert times.

Thank you, Jesus, for this song!

I don't know how to upload songs to this website. (If anyone does, can you comment and show me?) But here are the lyrics. They are honest. They are like me in days like today--when all that's within me feels dry. My prayer is that they can encourage you like they do for me.

This is my prayer in the desert

When all that's within me feels dry

This is my prayer and the hunger in me

My God is the God who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire

In weakness or trial or pain

There is a faith proved of more worth than gold

So refine me, Lord, through the flames

And I will bring praise

I will bring praise

No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice

I will declare

God is my victory and He is here

And this is my prayer in the battle

When triumph is still on it's way

I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ

So Firm on His promise I'll stand

And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

All of my life

In every season

You are still God

I have a reason to sing

I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest

When favor and providence flow

I know I'm filled to be emptied again

The seed I've recieved I will sow

Herbert on Redemption

2008-09-17T10:57:00.009-05:00

I am reading a lot of texts for a thesis I am going to write in the spring. I just read a poem by George Herbert entitled "Redemption." Herbert paints a picture of himself as a disgruntled tenant who seeks the Landlord (Christ) in order to find a lesser fee for his lease.

Wow, is all I have to say. What a picture of grace.

"Redemption"

Having been tenant long to a rich lord,
Not thriving, I resolved to be bold,
And make a suit unto him, to afford
A new small-rented lease, and cancel th' old.

In heaven at his manor I him sought;
They told me there that he was lately gone
About some land which he had dearly bought
Long since on earth, to take possession.

I straight returned, and knowing his great birth,
Sought him accordingly in great resorts--
In cities, theaters, gardens, parks, and courts:
At length I heard a ragged noise and mirth

Of thieves and murderers; there I him espied,
Who straight, "Your suit is granted," said, and died.

Getting through the day

2008-09-16T18:42:00.009-05:00

Today is tough. I've been having one of the most difficult spiritual weeks I can ever remember. God has been calling me to die to myself completely. I am in one of the most surrendered times I have ever been in, and it HURTS surrendering things I don't want to surrender.

It's funny how when Jesus wants all of you, he calls you to let go of the things you hold most dearly. And that is a struggle. It's a struggle to know that in the midst of pain and loss, He is guiding me closer to His heart. As I behold Him, I become more like Him, yet in the midst of becoming it means dying to myself.

It is tough not knowing what the future has in store. It is tough dying to my own agenda. It is tough laying aside control.

I don't know what the future looks like, but I know that Christ within me is the Hope of Glory, that He has plans for me to give me hope and a future, that He loves me, that His eye is always on me, that my name is inscribed on the palm of His hand!

Prayer, loving friends, the word--these are getting me through each day. My pastor, an amazing man and priceless friend named Josh Agerton, has been such an encouragement in this time (among many, many other people). He wrote me a card--It made me cry!--and under the little note was a prayer he copied from a man named Thomas Merton. I think that it is one of the most profound examples of faith, of honesty, of hope, of trust that I have ever seen. It is my prayer right now. I want to share it on here:

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

John Donne on brokenness and restoration

2008-09-15T20:29:00.006-05:00

John Donne was one of the greatest metaphysical poets, a man who lived in England at the latter end of Elizabeth I's reign. He was a man who struggled with his beliefs throughout his life; born Catholic, he rejected his Catholicism and became a minister in his later years. However, he never stopped seeking truth, and he never stopped trying to grow closer to Christ.

The following is one of his sonnets (Sonnet 14 of his collection called the Holy Sonnets). It is a cry for brokenness, for restoration, for a stripping of self that Christ may be glorified. It is a man's honest admission of complete inability to come to repentance and to restoration unless Christ intercedes.

I find myself in this place. I am truly broken, at the end of my rope for perhaps the first time ever. I need a savior, and I cannot do it on my own. I need Christ's ravishing. I need to be enthralled. It is exactly the cry of my heart these days.

Batter my heart, three-personed God; for you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurped town, to another due,
Labor to admit you, but O, to no end;
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betrothed unto your enemy.
Divorce me, untie or break that knot again;
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

Basketball and Prayer

2008-09-09T22:01:00.012-05:00

I can't seem to focus lately. Especially about God stuff.

I try to pray and my mind wanders. I try to read my bible and I get distracted. It seems that I have been a little spiritually ADD.

So I tried something tonight. I grabbed my basketball and went to the court across the apartment complex and had "quiet time." Just me, the darkness of a cool September night, my basketball, and the Creator of the Universe. It was the most amazing quiet moment I have had in many many months.

It seemed to all slow down. Just the little act of shooting jump shots for 45 minutes seemed to open up the floodgates. I prayed harder and more earnestly than I have in some time. And it was focused prayer. I sang (not loudly... I was in public, after all). I looked at the stars. God definitely met me.

I have really been burdened lately, feeling like I carry a heavy load. Anxiety. Gloom. Fear.

As I was praying tonight, the Lord met me in a neat way. Whatever burden I was carrying, he put a song in my head (and, in turn, my mouth) that spoke directly to that burden.

My sin: My sin, Oh the bliss of this glorious thought. My sin, not in part but the whole--is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more! Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, oh my soul!

Feeling trapped by pressures of growing up, fear, anxiety, etc. : Your heart was torn, forgiveness was born, yet through your pain you called us by name. That we would be free, yes free indeed! Free to run with you to be all that you've created us to be. IN YOU IT IS TRUE: WE ARE FREE.

Feeling ugly about myself and like I am not worth anything: Beauty for ashes, a garment of praise for my heaviness. Beauty for ashes, take this heart of stone and make it yours. I delight myself in the richest of fare, trading all that I have for all that is better: a garment of praise for my heaviness, You are the greatest taste.

* * *
Yes, God was there. He was in the quiet, still area between two hoops. He was with me. It was indeed a holy moment.

On English Papers (or, The psycho-babble of a sychophantic thesauricist)

2008-09-07T22:15:00.004-05:00

We are a weird little bunch, aren't we?

I have been assigned my first paper of the 08 fall. It's in history, so the study in psychic transrelational gender modes wouldn't work. I can't copy and paste the title for it.

BUT! Making an A paper is as easy as tweaking the title, "inflating weak ideas, obscuring poor reasoning, and inhibiting clarity."

So: For my American Religious History course, the title

On Religious Experiences in Early America

is a B title at best. Let's practice the Calvinian art of jazzing it up:

A brief history of early American ecclesiastical experience: The ontological, teleological, and
epistemological notions of the Puritan and Pilgrim in pre-expansionist 17th century Massachussetts Bay

...Now THAT is an A paper. I can BS my way through the rest of the paper, jazzing it up in academic jargon, saying the same thing four times in different ways.

That's how you make A's. Just get the title and the first and last sentence of every paragraph looking like the above.

Calvin is definitely on to something...

A thought on girls...

2008-09-05T11:09:00.003-05:00

Why do girls always do the LOL or haha thing at the end of messages, wall posts, etc. ?

"Hey, I am gonna be late. I have a meeting. Haha"

"I have the ticket for Saturday if you want it. I just have to use my ID to get into the gym this afternoon first. Haha"

"We have another meeting this afternoon. It will probably be a long one. Haha."

"I just failed that test. lol"

Just a random thought I have been pondering lately...

Football Season: Here at last

2008-09-05T10:52:00.009-05:00

Oh, the joys of fall. I love waking up to the crispness in the air. I love the leaves falling from the trees. I love sweaters and coffee and the kind of breeze that is in-between chilling and refreshing.

It all reminds me that football is finally here.

Week 1 of the NFL started last night, and week 1 of college just wrapped up. That means fantasy football drafts, Athlon sports magazines that predict the Auburn Tigers to win the West (War Eagle!), Coors Light Cold Hard Facts on ESPN where Shawn Salisbury and John Clayton can't agree on anything, Manning/Brady Showdown somewhere in November, tailgaters that show up on Wednesday for Saturday night games, SEC media days, Nova circling the student section to the cries of Waaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr EAGLE! HEY!, Boston butts and burgers on the grill, Paul Finebaum lauding Bama Nation in spite of years of irrelevance, Colin Cowherd vs. Ohio State, Monday Nights at Buffalo Wild Wings...

Can you tell I am excited?

This may very well be my last year of Auburn football as an undergrad. I am excited and saddened at the same time. Memories of the 2005 Iron Bowl and body-painting for 2006 v. LSU will always be with me.

Bama just beat #9 Clemson to move to number 14. I already can hear the cries from Tuscaloosa. You'd think the Bear himself was alive again.

I love this time of year. War Eagle!

It's HERE!

It's midnight and my mind is wandering (or is it wondering?--I guess either works...)

2008-08-29T00:15:00.003-05:00

Colossians 1:24-end

Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in Christ's afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church, of which I became a minister according to the stewardship from God that was given to me for you, to make the word of God fully known, the mystery hidden for ages and generations but now revealed to his saints. To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me.

...

I want that. I want Him to powerfully work within me.

I am really aware lately of my failures. I dunno if it's a spirit speaking death over me or if it's just my own flesh, but I keep finding myself concentrating on my inadequacies. Lots of those thoughts are related to the post directly below this one. But I can't seem to get any better.

Christ is in me, the hope of glory.

Wow. That really puts things into perspective. I feel God moving all around me. I sense his presence. I sense it in the bustle and bang of an Encounter service. I sense it in the times where I am quiet and alone. I sense it even in the times of inadequacy.

He is my hope. I am ready to claim that, to stand on that ROCK of truth. I am meeting my friend Aaron for lunch tomorrow. Jesus just radiates from that guy. I love it when I can almost smell Jesus on someone. I am ready for that. It's time to stop being the failure that I have allowed myself to believe I am. God is moving. It's about time to step into it.

More to follow. These are rambled thoughts. It's late. I apologize.

Hopefully I will be more regular with these.

Heroes, Peace, and Growing Up

2008-07-30T15:15:00.009-05:00

When it comes to work, I have done it.

I’ve worked as a Starbucks Barista and as a go-fetch boy for a local law firm. I’ve taught piano lessons, mowed yards, washed cars, baby-sat. I’ve coordinated Auburn University’s incoming student orientation programs and helped at an air show. I’ve been in a band, stocked groceries, and done research for the English Department.

All of that is fine, I guess. Summer jobs gave me money for stuff like dates and eating out and Braves tickets and sunglasses. Other positions (the more respectable things like Auburn Orientation, for example) gave me that resume fodder and “skill set” that is so vital in the job market. Starbucks gave me a love for coffee and for David Gray. So I guess it’s been worthwhile.

But now I’m 21 and an upcoming senior in college. The unseen hand that guides social mores insists that I take a “job” and make a “career” out of it, and it should last me anywhere from 25-30 years. So that Starbucks Barista thing is fine, so long as I don’t mind asking “Would you like cream in that?” 243 times a week until I’m fifty. (…But those benefits!)

Basically, I’m supposed to have this thing figured out by now, and I’m way behind if I don’t. Choosing a career was supposed to be akin to developing the thesis for my life, and everything else since then and in the future is just the supporting material that all ties back into the decision. At 18 you should have known what you wanted to major in because you were supposed to be thinking about it ever since that time when you were 12 or 13 and someone asked what you wanted to be when you grew up. So if you said “Doctor” you began thinking about going into some sort of College of Science and Math and picking a major like Biology or Nutrition or Chemistry or something like that. Basically, the choice of career is all you need. Choose your major by the senior year of high school, pick a college that has it, and go. Society gives you a fill-in-the-blanks list of all the other things you need to do (Go to _________ University; Do an internship at _________; Go to __________ Grad School; Choose _________ job). It’s virtually autopilot.

So, for those “Undecided” folks out there: Get a move on. The fact that you had 2 or 3 answers to the 12-year-old question or said something stupid like ‘astronaut’ or ‘football player’ or ‘cowboy’ is essentially just being immature. Pick one (a realistic one—after all, a fat kid with ice cream on his face can never be a cowboy, nor can the skinny kid with pimples ever go to Hollywood or be President), get your life on track, and quit screwing around. You’re wasting time. You’re supposed to have the next 30 years planned out, and the fact that you don’t means you’re lazy, unorganized, indecisive, scared, or just don’t care. At this rate, you’ll probably be the guy with seven ‘careers’ by 30, doing everything from fixing refrigerators to driving a truck to forming that great entrepreneurial enterprise selling sticky notes to local businesses. Society is highly disapproving of you. After all, without being committed to a steady job, how can you get a house and a new pickup and a dog and a wife and some kids and a pool and a boat and eventually retire to a nice house in the suburbs or on the lake where you support the Republican Party and the local booster club? That’s the American Dream! You are anti-American. Terrorist.

So, again, I’m 21. I’m a senior. And I’m in that undecided crowd. And while I have somewhat caricaturized the torrent of social pressures hitting soon-to-be-college-graduates, it nevertheless essentially depicts the meta-narrative being spoken over us. If you are going to “keep up with the Joneses,” you should be gearing towards a career by 22. To be a millionaire by 30 is a common dream. In a hyper-speed society of remote controls, microwaves, email/fax, and movietickets.com (your own personal box-office-on-the-go), stopping to smell the roses is a lost art.

But I’ve stopped—or, rather, I can’t seem to start. I find myself in a state of stasis, unable to find the ‘Go’ button and set off on a lifestyle of career and fame and fortune. I am an English major—that much I’ve been able to figure out—but I have yet to discover the secret that unlocks my own grand narrative into which to step. Lawyer? Professor? Pastor? Businessman? Armed with my James Joyce and William Faulkner degree, I haven’t quite figured out the next move.

I have recently begun to wonder about that age-old question: What is the meaning of all this? Why am I here? What great thing can I do with my life? What is my purpose? Is it all tied up in resume? In money? Is it really a game of filling in the most prestigious blanks? What will make me significant? Answers come and go, but nothing seems to really hit me.

I am driving the 42-mile stretch on I-85 from Montgomery to Auburn. The windows are down. I’m listening to John Mayer’s song “Stop This Train.”
So afraid of getting older—I'm only good at being young.
So I play the numbers game to find a way to say that life has just begun.
Come on stop this train. I want to get off and go home again.
I can't take the speed it's moving in…Honestly, won’t someone stop this train?
It’s become a mantra of sorts for the anxious feelings in me. So afraid…Stop…I wanna get off and go home. It seems to encapsulate those growing pains and fears associated with becoming a man.

I feel very ‘unmanly’ these days. There are two stereotypes that I feel are constantly pulling at me. One is the Brad Pitt or Russell Crowe figure—the man whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, the man who fights for king and country, the rescuer of the beauty, the subduer of nations. The other is Peter Griffin (from Family Guy)—inept, often drunk, stupid, and, socially and spiritually, a failure.

I think that I put a lot of pressure on myself because society only has these two archetypes from which to choose (honestly, when have you ever seen a show about a ‘normal’ man!). There is no middle ground, no archetype of the noble man who is struggling to find his way. You either are the warrior prince or the drunken wreck. I don’t want to be the failure. I want to stand up to Commodus and say that I am Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius, father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife, and I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next. But how can I do that apart from being a Marine or a SEAL? How does an English major get to the end of his life and feel like he has done something meaningful? There is a hero-complex that I think is driven by both a desire to be great and a fear of being a failure. So I have to be a hero. I cannot fail.

But, again, I’m 21. I’m a senior. And I’m in that undecided crowd. There aren’t very many undecided heroes out there. And poets and writers are often associated with the Oscar Wilde artsy, bohemian stereotype. Not very manly or heroic. Maybe the answer is that I should become a powerful attorney, winning cases and playing lots of golf. Maybe I should write books about heroes—I could live vicariously through my main character. He could have a hyper-masculine name like Drake Hammer or Rex Mason and explode things. Or I could teach as a professor, get tenured, and spend my summers “researching” places like Carthage and Arabia, walking in the same places as heroes of old, pretending to be Indiana Jones. I want to do something meaningful. I want to look back on my life and feel like it has been something of an accomplishment, something that was great. But on this side of it, it is overwhelming and scary and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to get from English major with years of school left, not knowing what career to take to feeling like I’ve accomplished my purpose.

…I know this guy, though. He was nomadic—by social standards a little undecided himself, I guess. He didn’t ever get to the American Dream. He sorta lost it all…

But he is called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he judges and makes war. His eyes are like a flame of fire, and on his head are many diadems, and he has a name written that no one knows but himself. He is clothed in a robe dipped in blood, and the name by which he is called is The Word of God. And the armies of heaven, arrayed in fine linen, white and pure, were following him on white horses. From his mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations, and he will rule them with a rod of iron. He will tread the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God the Almighty. On his robe and on his thigh he has a name written, King of kings and Lord of Lords. (Rev. 19:11-16)

That is a hero. That is someone who is significant.

I am struggling with what to do with my life. I am struggling with the way I should spend my time. I am struggling with where to go, which occupation to take. I want to make the most of a career and have money, importance, fame, enjoyment.

What if instead of a career I found a calling? What if instead of seeking money, I sought treasures in heaven? What if instead of making myself a hero on earth, I died to myself and saw that guy (arrow pointing up) become the ultimate hero through me.

There’s a man I have become close with over the last several years. I will call him Al the Pastor. Al the Pastor has a profound grasp on the life questions with which I have recently been struggling. As I vocalize my ponderings, he has encouraged me to change the way I am thinking about this stuff. He has a heart for people and a passion for Jesus. He and I have been talking lately about what it means to be missionally minded wherever we are. He pointed me to Jeremiah 29, which talks about the in-between times—like where I’m at as a senior, 21 years old, nothing figured out. In the passage Israel was being held in captivity by their Babylonian oppressors, and they were growing restless in their waiting. They wanted to know the meaning of their captivity and were impatient for a move to happen. They were waiting for the epiphany when their confusion would be turned to perfect knowledge, their expecting to fulfillment. The Lord had a different message for them:

Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, to all the exiles whom I have sent into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat their produce. Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not decrease. But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare…For thus says the Lord: When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will visit you, and I will fulfill to you my promise and bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me. When you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile. (Jeremiah 29:6-14)

Israel was called to prosper in their in-betweens. They were called to fully plant themselves in the midst of their situation, to lead their captors into prosperity. While they did seek God, they were to yet remain active in their waiting. It was not a time for the safety huddle—they were called to bring welfare to their city. This was not a time to wait and ponder: It was a time to live with a purpose.

Fast-forward a few thousand years to me. I’m in one of life’s great in-betweens, waiting on the answer. Although I don’t know where I am going, or when I will get there, I am lately discovering that I indeed can live heroically, with abandon, with purpose. Al the Pastor and I had a conversation one day in which he explained to me that no matter where I am, I can see my vocation as an opportunity to glorify God and love others. We talked together about the need for security:

“Micah, there is no security. We take each day by faith. The most successful guy in the world is only as good as his health. He could come home from the doctor tomorrow and all the security and money in the world couldn’t help him.” I thought about that. I think there is a part of me that is torn by filling in the blanks of Upper-Middle-Class America and enjoying the ‘security’ that such a life would afford. But it is all a façade, anyway. It’s like putting your faith in Santa or the Chicago Cubs. It’s striving after wind. The only security comes from knowing and enjoying relationship with a Sovereign God.

Al the Pastor and I recently went to New Orleans to listen to writer/blogger/speaker Alan Hirsch talk about church planting. Hirsch is great: A witty Aussie, he has great insight into the way that churches sometimes fall asleep spiritually while clamoring to achieve the security of the American consumer lifestyle. What struck me, however, is the way that pastors in New Orleans were so passionate about their calling in their city. One man in particular who made me think was Mike the Communist. Mike is a teacher and a coach at a local high school, but he and a few families have decided to see their lives as an opportunity to influence a tiny corner of the world for Christ. Every day Mike wakes up in a house shared by 15-20 people. They pool their resources, sharing food, money, clothes, etc. in an effort to be better stewards with their finances and their energy. They serve their community, cutting grass, barbecuing, helping old ladies cross the street, leading the PTA—the works. What is remarkable is the way that the community has begun to see the “weird folks down the street who are stuck in hippie communes” as being so full of life and joy and energy. Mike the Communist explained how the people in his neighborhood once hardened to the watered-down message of churches are coming alive to the idea of the Gospel through the efforts of his team’s ministries. “We just live life. We show Jesus in our actions and in our service. People respond to that.” They have seen tremendous growth as people come to know the Lord. They have bought more houses and have grown in size. By simply living as a group sold out to the glory of God and showing it in a lifestyle of love and service, they are transforming an entire district of New Orleans.

I don’t think I’ll be living in a Jesus commune. While Mike the Communist is a truly a hero, I don’t picture myself adopting that lifestyle. But Mike’s message is one of immediate applicability: Let your whole life show Christ, even if it is different from what you see around you. Al the Pastor encouraged me to adopt this view, specifically when it comes to the struggles I have been having about how I see (or don’t see) my career. Al gave me an assignment: talk to some heroes and listen to how they adopt Mike’s philosophy in their lives. Find out how they use their jobs, their ministries, their relationships all to the glory and furthering of the Gospel.

I set up a series of interviews with a few guys who are on fire for Jesus. First was Bill the Birdkeeper. He really is a financial planner, but he has a cockatoo in his office. Bill the Birdkeeper is a man who has an amazing sense of God’s direction. He told me how he can almost “smell God” when it comes to making decisions, an ability cultivated through decades of pursuing God’s will and obediently following, thanking and praising him along the way. “Thanking and praising keeps me humble and reminds me daily that whatever may come is a gift. I was diligent about reminding myself to adopt this attitude. Now praising is just a habit. It keeps me focused on the person of Christ, not me.” He says he just takes the direction God gives him and goes down that path with all his might. He was a pilot, but God got him into selling Tupperware and eventually into financial planning. He knows he is where God wants him because it is something completely different than where he would picture himself. But he is full of joy and hope! He says he doesn’t know where each day will take him—he’s just in the river where God has placed him, and he follows his Father’s leading. As a financial planner, he professionally and excellently helps his clients use wisdom in their financial decisions, and because of his boldness and faithfulness to making Godly choices, he has been able to speak the Gospel to numerous clients, seeing souls changed. He supports ministries all across the world through a foundation he began called Isaiah’s Legacy. He truly is a hero.

Robbie the Computer Guy was the next hero. Robbie works at a furniture retailer as their super-smart techno guru. Robbie is one of the most humble men I have ever met. He explained how his work is mostly straight-forward, a typical computer job that many might be doing. However, Robbie and some faithful brothers made a commitment that they would be different, that they would shine Jesus in their workplace. They began a small gathering of individuals to pray for their relationships with God, for their work, for their coworkers, etc. It has now grown into times of prayer where a few hundred people may attend. Robbie says that he is especially thankful for the opportunities to speak life and joy into his coworker’s struggles. Being diligent to pray and love on people who are hurting has allowed Robbie to minister to many coworkers and their families, the result being literally an entire business that has grown to appreciate the power of Jesus.

I next interviewed Andrew the Church Planter. Another computer wiz, Andrew worked for years at a military base in Montgomery before leaving house, extended family, church, and job to go to New Orleans Seminary. He works forty hours a week at a Marine base in order to be able to support a family and get his degree. He is definitely a hero. Andrew told me how he ministers to Marines simply by following Colossians 4, letting his conversation be with grace as he responds to people. He breaks through the gruff Marine exterior by simply speaking to his coworkers as one who is in love with Jesus. Because of that, many have come to him for guidance and counsel, some of whom he feels are close to knowing Christ. Andrew basically throws seed all around his office simply by being a worker who is not ashamed of the Gospel. God has caused a lot of growth.

Kris the Officer was my last interview. Among the higher ups in the military, Kris nevertheless has been a constant example of how to humbly lead men. He expressed to me how he is motivated daily by consistently being reminded about the Kingdom of God: “It’s not something ‘out there.’ The Kingdom is within you! I just let it loose wherever God leads me.” I jokingly teased about wanting an email from God telling me what to do with my life. Kris took out a pen and wrote on a napkin “Micah, Follow me. God.”

“That’s what it all comes down to, Micah. Just obediently following Him. He’ll show up in His timing. Just remember that He is always with you. His Kingdom is right there. Just tap into it. That’s what living as a Christian is all about.”

So it’s not about the __________. It’s not the title. It’s not the occupation. These heroes of the faith have tapped into something greater than themselves. They see life as an opportunity for the glory of the Gospel to be shown on the earth, whether that means working as a pilot or computer tech or seminary student or Tupperware salesman. Life is about the message of Jeremiah 29, settling in and serving in the midst of wherever you find yourself. I still don’t know what I want to do with my next 30 years. I trust that God has a plan for me, to prosper me and give me a future. Whatever that means, I’m not sure. But I do know that regardless of whether I am pastoring or teaching or brewing coffee or whatever, I have a new perspective on things.

G.E. Veith, in his book God at Work, sums it up. He discusses the in-betweens, the tough times of transition like the one I’m in:

While we may have a calling to our place of work, we may very well receive another calling to somewhere else. The slave might have the opportunity for freedom. A worker slogging away faithfully in his vocation may get the chance for a better job. Again, the call of God may come through a job offer, a proposal, or an election. Since vocations are multiple and are in the here and now, the calling to be a student might be supplemented by a calling at a fast-food restaurant. Upon graduation, the calling may be to a stock brokerage on Wall Street. In each case, he can be confident in God’s purpose for his life and be in a position where he can love and serve his neighbors. At every stage he is leading the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him.

I am 21. I am a senior. I am undecided. But for all the indecision going on, God has a plan for me. So what if I don’t know? I can trust that he’ll show me in his timing, that the plans he has for me will be fulfilled when and where he pleases. In the meantime, though, I’m 21. Why not do some 21-year-old ministries? Why not lead 21-year-olds to Christ? Why not study to the best of my ability and keep my nose “sniffing God”? Who knows what ministry at 21 could look like?
God does. And he has a plan. And it’s heroic.

Blue Like Jazz: The Movie

2008-07-10T21:42:00.007-05:00

I recently read an interview with Don Miller about his book Blue Like Jazz being made into a movie. I think that anything Don Miller does is pretty much genius. I would highly encourage all of you to check it out when it comes to DVD. Look at the link above to see what it's all about.

This is one of my favorite books ever. Other than changing the way I think about God, the Gospel, life, and people, it really wasn't all that special.

Best. Advertising. Ever.

2008-06-30T00:22:00.005-05:00

Fantasy football draft night is just around the corner. Here are some insanely awesome videos to help you in preparation for that most important night of the year.

I love football season!

Leadership on the OtherSide by Bill Easum

2008-06-26T11:26:00.011-05:00

Eek. What a ride.

Bill Easum's Leadership on the OtherSide approaches the social and ecclesiological (church stuff) future with a rather--what word would fit here?...unsettling, disconcerting, ooky, maybe?--interpretation of things to come.

Easum says we'll put chips in the heads of infants and senile old people so they don't get lost, debate not about abortion or homosexual rights but about how much of a cyborg (half-man, half-machine) person is acceptable (you know, machine heart, machine lungs, prosthetic machine legs, machine kidneys, etc.), and, gulp, pass crisp, paper books by in exchange for digi-books and books-on-mp3 and books-that-are-projected-on-the-ceiling-when-you-go-to-bed-so-your-arms-don't-get-tired-while-you-read, and other similar literary-gadgetry (the English major bibliophile in me that wants shelves lined with the Harvard Classics and first editions mourns in anguish...).

Really what Easum is doing is painting a picture of a future, an OtherSide, that looks very different from the world as we know it. The change in technology only mimics a deeper ideological change in culture. Culture will become closer (similar to the idea of "Glocalization" described in Bob Roberts' book) at the same time that people will grow more relationally disconnected in the wake of technological advances such as GoToMeeting, the Internet, Digital Cable, and the multitudinous other inventions that are just around the corner.

Easum's call, therefore, becomes a call for pastors who can engage such a culture. How, as leaders of churches, do we engage a culture that is disillusioned with the institutionalization of church, is postmodern and hyper-relative in its philosophy and value systems, and is interested only in what is entertaining, easily attainable, and personally meaningful?

Easum asserts that the answer to these quandaries is two-fold: 1. Church leaders must develop and/or maintain a strict, vehement, passionate pursuit of Christ, seeking first His Kingdom. 2. We must overhaul our ideas of churches in order to become culturally-relevant.

I saw this book as an extension of Nee's Sit, Walk, Stand and Wright/Duren's Journeys. First, our power comes from the position we have in Christ, all else flowing out of his strength in us (Nee's message). Only upon that foundation can we be true to our calling while yet engaging the culture before us, sometimes even remodeling our comfortable church homes (Wright/Duren's tale) in order to spread the Kingdom Message.

Easum calls us to become leaders who no longer act within a hierarchical, top-down, come-see-what-we-have-here fashion: Rather, we must team up with our church body, develop a missional mindset, delegate and encourage our brothers and sisters, and infiltrate our culture with Christ. We must reevaluate what Easum calls our "Life Metaphors" (for example, the way we are mechanical, institutional, committee-centered, hold to a sense of entitlement, put emphasis on the professional "clergyman", command and control our realms of influence) in order to become culturally relevant. What would it look like for a church's Metaphors to be spirit, organic, fluid, team-centered, discipling, giving, encouraging, serving, planting, diverse?

We must return to a "spirit" religion and not an institutionalized one. We must return to a "mystery" that is life-changing instead of a better plan to get butts in the seats and checks in the plate. We must become ministers of the Gospel who follow Christ's example, GOing to make disciples instead of focusing on the building and the people inside.

I hate change. I am the world's biggest rut dweller. Thinking of a future that is ever-changing is scary. But whether or not I am a pastor or a teacher or a lawyer or an editor or a writer or whatever, I want to be a Leader who engages my tribe, my culture, my neighbor for the Kingdom. Easum's message is one that I must take to heart.

Team Hoyt Ironman Duo

2008-06-25T14:29:00.002-05:00

This may be the greatest illustration of God's love for his children. Watch these videos about a very unlikely father-son Ironman team. The Ironman includes three endurance events: a 2.4 mile ocean swim, a 112 mile bike ride, and a 26.2 mile marathon--back-to-back-to-back! Team Hoyt does it all!

How deep the father's love for us!

My Big Fat Greek Firework Easter

2008-06-23T13:24:00.004-05:00

See--this is what American churches need. A culturally-hip display of enthusiasm for the Easter season! Take a look!

My Big Fat Greek Firework Battle

One of my favorite hymns

2008-06-20T09:08:00.002-05:00

I've been humming this to myself lately. The theology is beautiful. I heard it at Rachel's church performed with guitar, mandolin, all sorts of drums, a saxophone. Almost brought me to tears...

COME YE SINNERS

Come, ye sinners, poor and needy
Weak and wounded, sick and sore
Jesus, ready, stands to save you
Full of pity, love and power

I will arise and go to Jesus
He will embrace me in His arms
In the arms of my dear Savior
O, there are ten thousand charms

Come, ye thirsty, come and welcome
God's free bounty glorify
True belief and true repentance
Every grace that brings you nigh

I will arise and go to Jesus
He will embrace me in His arms
In the arms of my dear Savior
O, there are ten thousand charms

Let not conscience make you linger
Nor of fitness fondly dream
All the fitness he requireth
Is to feel your need of Him

I will arise and go to Jesus
He will embrace me in His arms
In the arms of my dear Savior
O, there are ten thousand charms

Come, ye weary, heavy-laden
Lost and ruined by the fall
If you tarry 'til you're better
You will never come at all

I will arise and go to Jesus
He will embrace me in His arms
In the arms of my dear Savior
O, there are ten thousand charms

Here's a link to the song: Todd Agnew singing 'Come ye sinners'

It's a little different than the original hymn--but amazing.

Working the Angles by Eugene H. Peterson

2008-06-16T15:32:00.007-05:00

"American pastors are abandoning their posts... They have gone whoring after other gods."

This is a startling commentary on the current condition of spiritual leadership in the United States. Working the Angles startled me with the brusque, curt manner in which Peterson writes of pastors—he sees them as little more than business professionals who tickle congregation’s ears and perfect pietistic behavioral patterns that cause them to appear holiest among a community of believers. Martin Thornton asserts that “what most communities really need is a couple of saints. The tragedy is that they may well be there in embryo, waiting to be discovered, waiting for sound training, waiting to be emancipated from the cult of the mediocre.” Pastors who run churches like shopkeepers will not see this happening—their congregations will continue to be among those consumerist social constructions that “keep shop” week after week, never truly realizing the potential they have in Christ.

Peterson’s call to a reclamation of authentic pastorship involves the realignment of three areas of pastoral ministry that have become skewed: prayer, scripture, and spiritual direction. These chapters were great—I appreciated the ideas regarding Sabbath-taking, praying in accordance with the Psalms, the careful, contemplative exegesis of scripture, being and getting a spiritual director, and the like—but I thought the introduction was the most profound part of the book.

What really hit me was Peterson’s idea to take any Average Joe, train him for six months, and he’d be a perfect pastor. Course I: Creative Plagiarism. Course II: Voice Control for Prayer and Counseling. Course III: Efficient Office Management. Course IV: Image Projection. This was the most compelling part of the book to me. I thought to myself—for what reason do I want to be a pastor? What expectations do I have for myself in being a pastor? What do I expect of my pastor now? It definitely challenged me to reconsider the way I think about the pastorship.

Am I just wanting to be a pastor in order to be that man in society everyone turns to? Am I wanting just to be a “steward of the mysteries…widely sought after for counsel by influential people in the community”? I’m good at speaking in front of people. I’m good at researching and developing positions. I admire people who can woo and carry a crowd. Do I just want to be the next megachurch pastor with a cultic following? Or am I honestly and truly a man who wants to shepherd a flock towards the face of God?

Regardless of whether or not I am a pastor, I want to develop what Peterson calls “a trained attentiveness to God in prayer, in Scripture reading, [and] in spiritual direction.” I want to fight the good fight—not simply to get by with what is easy and requires less effort. As Peterson calls pastors to the balanced, Christ-centered effective pastorship, I want to possess a balanced, Christ-centered daily walk. Peterson’s book challenges me to “work the angles…when nobody is watching.” I want to cultivate that integrity now so that if I do become a pastor, it has already become ingrained in my walk with Jesus.

Glocalization by Bob Roberts

2008-06-03T16:50:00.005-05:00

What a glorious and compelling book Bob Roberts has written!

Glocalization, unlike all but a very few books I have ever read, depicts a vibrant, active, engaging Christian movement that is globally relevant in its Christ-centeredness. As Roberts discusses a “glocalized” (global in geography, local in connectivity) social climate, he calls us to actively connect not just with a Sunday “event,” but with a movement of believers who are radically changing the world for the cause of Christ.

In the beginning of the book, Roberts writes something that aligns very closely to The Micah Mandate’s call for balance in our Christianity: He writes, “We scale what we can of the omnipotence of God by how we connect with the Holy Spirit. We scale what we can of the omniscience of God by the study of God’s Word and discipleship. There are only two ways to scale the omnipresence of God. One is prayer—it takes us from here and now to there and then. The second way to scale it is glocalization. We live here and serve here; yet we also go and serve there.”—This is the call of churches and individuals alike. In my Christian faith, I am to serve and follow passionately after God, yet, as Roberts, Sider, Hirsch, and Grant, as well as many others, assert, I must engage culture in a way that is not hypocritical, self-serving, or proud. I must love; I must humble myself before others; I must do justice and love mercy; I must help the poor and feed the hungry. Roberts helps me to reevaluate my thinking, “glocalizing” my thought patterns so as to address blatant global injustice that would not find its way into the safe “Sunday event” agenda.

I find Roberts’ account so compelling! Roberts is truly a man who has followed God into the dangerous and exciting perils of genuine, sacrificial spirituality. From Afghanistan to Nepal, Roberts engages culture and spreads the Gospel, fulfilling the Great Commission and transforming social injustice. He sits with kings, heads of state, imams—all the while finding doors opening to the spreading of the Gospel in places where it theoretically should result in persecution! And, as pastor of a megachurch in Texas, he mobilizes literally thousands in the partnership of this Kingdom-focused ministry.

The Holy Spirit is so profoundly at work in the life of Bob, his family, and his church. As Christ calls us to be “in the world, but not of the world,” Bob engages others with a life-changing balance of relevance to the culture around him and commitment to the Gospel. I find myself so excited about such a prospect—being engaged in genuine global change. I think I am becoming awakened to a realization that the fulfilling life is not an “I’m called to preach” life, but a life that lays itself down in the service of others. I think that I am truly finding myself excited about the prospect of service (how absurd would that thought have been in times past!). This is remarkable! Roberts writes, “We have to move from a one-shot evangelism perspective that says, ‘Boom—here’s the four spiritual laws. If you don’t accept them, it’s over. I’ve done my duty,’ to a radically different faith response where one is unabashedly proclaiming the gospel, and serving, and loving.” I want to get on board with such a brand of Christianity.

The Micah Mandate by George Grant

2008-06-03T10:20:00.005-05:00

"To do justice, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God..." (Micah 6:8)

Am I doing justice? Is mercy something I love, or would I rather step on the throat just a little harder? I know for certain that I struggle with humility.

The Micah Mandate really challenges me. He has shown me what is good and what he requires—yet I would often rather Him tell me to do theology, to love winning, and to walk with my chest puffed out before others. Why is it that I so often struggle with these basic tenets of my spiritual walk? The book reminds me of James 1:27—“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” Often I get the whole Americanized version of “religion” better than I get “what is good and what the Lord requires.” It is definitely something for me to pray for.

I have to ask myself after reading this book what my motivation is for being in ministry; am I motivated by walking humbly before God or walking with a guise of humility before man? Do I do justice, or do I love looking like I care? Grant writes, “We cannot stand the thought of being at the mercy of God…so we are constantly dreaming up new versions of the same old heresy: salvation by works, salvation by law, salvation by education, salvation by legislation” (61). Is my ministry simply a way for me to feel like I merit God’s mercy? Is my cart before the horse?

Grant writes, “We cannot be authentically Christian but so heavenly minded that we’re no earthly good any more than we can be so earthly minded that we’re no heavenly good. The only possibility for us is to be so heavenly minded tat we do the earth good. And that demands a substantive lifestyle balance where both faith and work are operative, where both holiness and service motivate, where both Word and deed dominate, where the Gospel is proclaimed both in doctrine and in life” (xiii).—Am I proclaiming the Gospel with my life? The Micah Mandate insists that I pursue a genuine, holistic spirituality if I am going to be effective in ministry, whether vocational or simply in my day-to-day walk.

A particular passage that really challenges me is Grant’s discussion of the various prayer warriors, many of whom prayed for three, four, five hours a day. My prayer life is incredibly skimpy in comparison. Grant writes, “Prayer, as the deep and committed soul-bond in communion with almighty God, is an exceptionally rare and precious jewel” (203). I treat prayer rather flippantly at times. How is my expression of humility before God shown in a more profound way than in humbly coming before him continually, “without ceasing” as Paul says. My attitude toward prayer must becoming more accurate; I must treasure it as a rare and precious jewel.

The Micah Mandate urges a Christian to be balanced, in the world, not of the world, loving God, loving people. In order for me to achieve the balance that the book and the verse call for, I must first come to God in humility if I am to be of any use to others. My pride is a great dragon—I can only slay it and love mercy and walk humbly through a life of Christ-centered prayer.

Journeys by Todd Wright and Marty Duren

2008-05-29T11:23:00.007-05:00

Todd and Marty’s narrative spoke to a place in my heart in which I see need for immense and immediate growth. I have always always always been a “pleaser”; my No is broken, and I have the hardest time doing something or telling someone something that may disappoint or ruffle feathers. I realize how much a leader’s job is to be a trailblazer—just as Todd and Marty speak of. I don’t know that I have this quality. The pat on the back from others has largely been among the greatest motivating factors for me to do anything. The “well done” from a boss, a colleague, or a friend satisfies me in a way that very little things do.

I realize, and Todd and Marty’s narrative encouraged me, that I must find my motivation in blessing the heart of God. While I must continue to bless others, ultimately my motivation for action should be that I find it to be in accordance with God’s word and for His Glory, not my own among men.

Especially if I am a pastor. To be a shepherd of a flock, as the authors relate, is not always to do the popular thing or the thing that will be met with the most applause or the most “Amens” from the congregation. Sometimes being the shepherd of a flock may mean taking the sheep to a greener pasture, even if they are reluctant (or refuse!) to go. I must find within me the ability to be a compelling force for the cause of Christ—not simply to be the one who is always compelled by others!

Their tales further discuss a need to be relevant to a secular community, and their narrative reminds me of Sider and Hirsch. Each pastor is the head of a long-established church whose cultural efficacy had been “forgotten” in the wake of tradition and dwelling in the same rut. I myself am a super-huge rut-dweller. Change is scary—I hate it with great passion!—and the word “new” that Todd loves is fun for me only insofar as the “newness” somehow aligns with my own established ways. Can I be effective for the kingdom of God with such a mindset? Jesus makes all things new, but I would, in my fleshiness, scoff at change and avoid it like it had some sort of infection.

Journeys motivates me to pray for a heart that could stand in the face of a church and say, “This is what God says, and if you don’t like it, I am still going to follow my conviction, even if it means I lose my job.” As Marty’s last chapter on Faithfulness encourages, I must pray for a heart that is faithful to the word of God and not to the smile and vigorous handshake of man. Somehow, though, they managed to love their congregations through the journey, a phenomenon that could only have arisen out of the grace and blessing of a loving God.

Marty and Todd both had questions along the way. They weren’t perfect, and they both readily admit to having messed up at times. But they stayed true to their convictions, and God has blessed both men, as their churches have become true beacons in their communities that reach lost people in a much more effective manner. They have lost friends, lost status, lost money and numbers at their church along the way—yet they continue to stay true to the calling that God has given them for their churches. I hope that in whatever vocation I pursue I will be faithful to the calling of God, whatever it may mean. I cannot be an effective minister—be it vocationally or within my a secular vocation—if I am turned to and fro by the words and attitudes of others.

Good News and Good Works by Ronald J. Sider

2008-05-28T15:19:00.004-05:00

Sider’s work was truly one that made me question even the basic ideas of my own Christianity. A work that challenges me to be “wholistic” in my idea of a Christianity that is not only personal, but profoundly social as well, Good News calls me to become a Christian who would “be immersed in service to the hurting and broken in [my] community and around the world…end the scandal of one-sided Christianity…feed the hungry and restore the environment…set people on the path of life eternal where, with unspeakable joy, believers will dance forever in a restored creation in the presence of the One who is both Creator and Redeemer.” (195)

The work reminded me of Erwin McManus’s The Barbarian Way in that while it maintained a need for a vibrant, personal, intimate relationship with Jesus Christ, it spoke of Christianity as more of a movement than something that is to be kept only as personal. While reading the text I was reminded of Matthew 5:14—“A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” Sider speaks against a Christianity that is hidden from the world, under the basket of safe, socially-inactive institutionalized religion.

The book challenged me both to evangelize more and to address social injustice. However, I had a thought—what injustice surrounds me in my daily life? I go to a school where most students come from the mid-to-upper-crust of society. They are smart, and the city caters to them. While at home I live in East-Montgomery, four minutes away from the Rave and from EastChase. My neighbors have dogs and gardens and nice cars. My friends—black and white alike—are not hungry, impoverished, or maltreated.

I realized that I have not even begun to think of social reform, simply because in my WASP-bubble I have failed to notice injustice. I realized that my prayer life does not include an active pursuit of a God-centered social activism because there is nothing about which to be socially active in the world in which I live (save, maybe, the lack of parking on campus or the fact that I have a semi-broken dryer that I’ve been telling apartment management about for a few months).

Kids in Africa with AIDS has been little more than a blue link on my yahoo page or a topic to debate about in Model UN in high school. Social reform is for history books—my life is great!

Sider made me realize just how hypocritical it is to live in the birthplace of Civil Rights, to go to an Alabama school that is somehow 88% white, and to be a part of a church that is actively pursuing justice in India without praying 1) for a heart for social reform and 2) for the opportunities to see that reform through. Faith without works is dead—has my Christianity been dead all these years?

I have a really close friend who is unsaved, and I’ve been praying for him for a while now. We’ve had a few conversations about God, but mostly he’s been shut off to talking about it simply because he hides behind the excuse of “I go to church sometimes” and thinks that he’s not all that different from me (I cuss less, he drinks more, but that’s about it). How much more effective of a witness would I have if he were to see me engaged in the pursuit of a Christ-glorifying Auburn-, Alabama-, national-, and global-reform? Sider’s book encourages me to walk my talk and to pursue God’s glory through an active social mindset that is not afraid to get dirty in winning souls to Christ, digging wells, supporting poor kids, and feeding the hungry. Jesus taught about God, but he actively engaged his culture by addressing social need. Good News encouraged me to follow in his example more than I do.

Alan Hirsch: The Forgotten Ways

2008-05-28T12:20:00.002-05:00

Acts 4:32-35: Now the full number of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own, but they had everything in common. And with great power the apostles were giving their testimony to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great grace was upon them all. There was not a needy person among them, for as many as were owners of lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold and laid it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to each as any had need.

I had this passage continually in my mind as I looked through Hirsch’s text. The Forgotten Ways refers to the manner in which the early church thrived in the wake of the work of Christ and in the face of a culture and social climate that should have stymied its efforts. The forgotten ways, simply stated, are the radical, powerful, spirit-filled methods by which a Christ-centered, catholic body of believers can regain its vitality and exuberance, becoming a cultural phenomenon that is unified and effective in the proclamation of the person of Christ.

Hirsch’s book addresses six issues that have been forgotten in American evangelical Christianity: the Lordship of Jesus, disciple making, the missional-incarnational impulse, the apostolic environment, organic systems, and communitas (not community!). His text urges individuals and churches to return to “old-school”, vibrant, effective Christian life and community.

I saw this book as an extension of the work of both Nee and Sider. Like Sider, Hirsch’s emphasis is not simply on the church who rests, but the church who does. He calls for a radical shift in the manner in which missional work is done (see chart on p. 196), a shift that truly encompasses the need to be “in the world, but not of the world.” Institutionalized Christianity is largely not even in the world in today’s culture, as church’s close themselves off as a sort of safe-haven for good little people, a place where “believers” congregate once or twice a week to pat each other’s back. Sider and Hirsch both see this as a failure of modern Christianity—we have forgotten our passion! We have forgotten our cause! We are to Go! Hirsch wants us to remember the ways of Christ, to be effective in our obedience to his calling, and to lose the stale, jaded Christian attitude of so many institutions that sit ineffective today.

I see Hirsch as an extension of Nee, however, in that the very first “forgotten way” that he mentions is the failure of the modern church to see Jesus not only as savior but as LORD. It all starts—as it does with Nee’s text—with seeing Christ for who he is and for what he has done. Hirsch sees this revelation—that Jesus, the Yahweh God who IS, is Lord!—as being the source from which all else must flow. It is only in the surrendering of ourselves to him that we may, to use the words of Ephesians, walk in a manner worthy of His calling. Like Nee, who says that we must first rest in our position in Christ, Hirsch demands that before any change can come to modern Christianity, we must first acknowledge the power that lies in this acknowledgment of our identity as lifelong servants to a loving, most-high God. The vertical position must precede the horizontal work.

Watchman Nee: Sit, Walk, Stand

2008-05-28T12:14:00.003-05:00

This text, addressing Paul’s letter to the church at Ephesus, spoke directly to my heart. Concentrating on the three key imperatives in the epistle (Sit or, rather, see myself as ‘seated’ in the heavenly places with Christ, allowing Him to be my support and my strength, resting on all that he has done in His atoning work for me; Walk in a manner worthy of His calling, living life in such a way that He is glorified through me as I interact with others; Stand against the schemes of the devil and against the allurement of sin and evil by the power of the Holy Spirit at work in me), Nee humbly and with great conviction pleads for me to be balanced as a Christian. Only in doing as the text demands of me will I find myself living victoriously, “standing triumphantly” as Nee says in his last few words of his work.

The text spoke immediately to a core issue that I have found to be a rather troublesome aspect of my Christian life. First I must sit… What a revolutionary, marvelous truth! I find that I often—indeed, perhaps most often—jumble the order of imperatives, either attempting to walk my way into God’s good graces (even though by grace, not of myself, have I been saved!), or somehow endeavoring to stand against the powers at work in this world, though my mind is focused on the shaky foundation of my own strength. But first, simply sit!

Can it really be that easy? Simply to rest on the foundation of my identity in Christ seems like such a copout, but Nee insists (and is indeed correct) that it must be the primary aspect of my Christianity. I have known this truth for years, but it has never basically slapped my face as it did in the reading of this text. I have known this truth, but I have not applied this truth like I should have! And, truthfully, there is nothing that must be applied—it is not a matter of work, but of rest! My relationship with the Lord of this world is not a relationship that must be struggled through or fought for (His yoke is easy!), for he already struggled on my behalf and fought for me. The book, therefore, showed me in a vibrant way that this vertical relationship must come first, but, more importantly, it has already been accomplished! I am already seated! I have only to acknowledge and to rejoice and reverently and humbly rest in the sweetness and goodness of his love and mercy.

ONLY then may I take my first steps. As I said, I’ve often struggled with this ordering, as it seems a reversal of most relationships. With girls, for example, I must first work my tail off trying to get a particular beauty to notice me. Then I must work to get her to see me as somewhat of a stud. Then I must work to get her to stop seeing all other studs but me! And once I’ve managed to call her my own, I continue to work and work so as to keep her satisfied, to keep pursuing her, to keep her happy. Only then can we enjoy the deep pleasures of relationship. But this is not the case with Christ. Christ is the pursuer and He has already pursued me! I must simply rejoice and return His love!

That truth spoke the most to me from the work. The rest of the text flowed out of this truth: I can only walk after I have been seated, and I will stand firm only insofar as I have my foundation firmly planted in that rest of Christ. A difficult balance arises, however, as I walk away from this book: As I work for Christ—not to earn his love! but simply as a response to the love that he already has for me—I must never see my doing as something that makes me deserving of grace, for I cannot merit it. But! I must also never allow this truth to make me complacent, and I must not simply sit without walking and standing. Hirsch and Sider both address this fact. I don’t want to be a Christian hermit.

All three are necessary, and all three must be for God’s glory and through His power.

Summer Posts

2008-05-28T12:12:00.001-05:00

I'm going to be posting my summer thoughts as I intern at my church this summer. The following will be the literary and spiritual journey through which I endeavor.

First Post--A Creed of Sorts...

2008-02-21T20:04:00.002-06:00

I rise today
In power’s strength, invoking the Trinity,
Believing in threeness,
Confessing the oneness,
Of creation’s Creator

I rise today
In the power of Christ’s birth and baptism,
In the power of his crucifixion and burial,
In the power of his rising and ascending,
In the power of his descending and judging.

I rise today
In the power of the love of cherubim,
In the obedience of angels
And service of archangels,
In hope of rising to receive the reward,
In the prayers of patriarchs,
In the predictions of prophets,
In the preaching of apostles,
In the faith of confessors,
In the innocence of holy virgins,
In the deeds of the righteous.

I rise today
In heaven’s might
In sun’s brightness
In moon’s radiance
In fire’s glory
In lightning’s quickness
In wind’s swiftness
In sea’s depth,
In earth’s stability,
In rock’s fixity.

I rise today
With the power of God to pilot me,
God’s strength to sustain me,
God’s wisdom to guide me,
God’s eye to look ahead for me,
God’s ear to hear me,
God’s word to speak for me,
God’s hand to protect me,
God’s way before me,
God’s shield to defend me,
God’s host to deliver me:
From snares of devils,
From evil temptations,
From nature’s failings,
From all who wish to harm me,
Far or hear,
Alone and in a crowd.

Around me I gather today all these powers
against every cruel and merciless force
to attack my body and soul,
against the charms of false prophets,
the black laws of paganism,
the false laws of heretics,
the deceptions of idolatry,
against spells cast by women, smiths and druids,
and all unlawful knowledge
that harms the body and soul.

May Christ protect me today
Against poison and burning,
Against drowning and wounding,
So that I may have abundant reward;
Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ within me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me;
Christ to right of me, Christ to left of me;
Christ in my lying, Christ in my sitting, Christ in my rising;
Christ in the heart of all who think of me,
Christ in the tongue of all who speak to me,
Christ in the eye of all who see me,
Christ in the ear of all who hear me.

I rise today
In power’s strength, invoking the Trinity,
Believing in threeness,
Confessing the oneness,
Of creation’s Creator.

For to the Lord belongs salvation,
And to the Lord belongs salvation
And to Christ belongs salvation.

May your salvation, Lord, be with us always

--"St . Patrick's Breastplate"